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Cheshire Hash House Harriers
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List of Hash Reports for 2005

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    27-12-2005 Legh Arms

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-12-28 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The last hash of the year was planned by Allan but due to crockedness was laid by Brian B with both hares out and running the trail.

    Considering how often we have run from the Legh Arms it is surprising how many different trails can be got using different combinations of footpaths and roads. Allan did well tonight, as a Christmas treat he had planned a 5 miler with it all on firm surfaces, just as well with the ice slick formed by the sub-zero temperatures. We weaved in and out of estates and across the serious roads in such a way that local hashers , although not lost, had no way of guessing where the route would go next. They had to think.
    The turnout was good but unfortunately for Tony H no other walkers turned out but he courageously continued by himself, meeting the running faction at several places
    The trail finished well with the run in to the Legh Arms and some welcome Marstons' bitter. The barmaid took a little convincing that 'yes-the two blokes in front of her wanted 20 pints Thanks Allan

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-12-28 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan provides his thoughts

    I confess to a feeling of foreboding as Xmas approached. Not just because the season of obscene expense isn't exactly one of my favourite times of year, but also because I was due to set the between holiday Hash, and I'd have to risk running on my torn adductor. For the medically challenged, that's the big muscle inside the top of your leg, where it enters the groin. Mrs Eden had been giving me her mighty medical ministrations before the holiday, and she had definitely eased the ache, but total rest for 5 weeks before a 5-mile run didn't feel like the ideal preparation. Still, Brian Burgess kindly offered to act as insurance, and so we trail layed our way round lanes, alleys and estates, that in 24 years of Knutsfordian residency, I didn't even know existed.
    We also went past 5 Hashers front doors!! And then between laying and running, the weather went Torvil and Dean!!!

    As we prepared to set off from the Legh, fingers froze, and the ground glistened, so Government Health warnings about torn adductors and worse had to be issued. Inevitably, we all galloped round without so much as a slither - thank God!
    The worst that happened was some rather halfhearted checking, or more accurately looking! Two or three times the fast men returned from the correct route firmly maintaining 'nothing there', and then looked somewhat sulky when the markers were pointed out to them as they panted by to regain their position at the front of the pack. Still, it kept us all together. In the pub, the average Hasher got a double dose of bureaucracy, with me looking for money in support of a quiz designed to be part of the fund raising event that happens at the Victory Hall in Mobberley on the 31st March. They also got Karen (welcome back), looking for menu decisions for the Hash Dinner/Dance in February. A post Xmas Hash turned out to be NOT a good place for either these activities. Firstly, no one professes to have any money left, and as for making decisions as to which animal they'd like to consume 6 weeks hence, well, most folk were still more interested in digesting the last one they'd eaten over the festive season. But remember folks, Karen and I will be back!!
    P.S. Is the Legh the smokiest pub we frequent?

    26-12-2005

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-12-27 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    26 people, hashers and relatives persuaded from the warm living rooms, plus 4 dogs joined Nick's welcome Boxing Day walk from the car park at Tegs Nose, near Macc.

    Although the weather was a little damp we had by far the best of the day for the 6 mile route along the footpaths and byways which took us round by the Hanging Gate and als by the Leathers Smithy pubs.We did not however get to stop at them, pausing for a drink break in one field and then for our packed lunches beside a small reservoir.
    It was strange how people going past in their motors looked amazed at the eating al-fresco.It was a very good walk thou with a lot of down and up to stretch the Christmas Pudding stressed bodies. Thanks again Nick

    20-12-2005 Mike & Pam's

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-12-21 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Another excellent evening from Pam and Mike. Although I was not running or walking I monitored the final stages of the hash.
    The evening was dry and parking was arranged at the neighbouring nursery..Thank you Mr nurseryman.

    My understanding of the trail was sketchy by remembering last year there will have been a good meander across field and road until the hash reached Pick Mere. Here Pam and Mike had arranges a knicker hunt. Scattered about the shrubbery round the lake were a number of pairs of gift wrapped ladies undergarments to be discovered. Rob claims to have found about 4 pairs which he distributed amongst the worthy. Pam and Mike then laid on mulled wine and announced that there would be further prizes for age groups for the run-in to there place. and this was where I came in. As the hashers arrived they were to approach me and tell me there name (it was dark) and age. ,First in from the mulled wine was Dr Rob ..just in the under 48 mens' followed by an early 30s a late 20s and a 21 yr old.
    Next was Paul J who at 49 was just into the next age group though John M was close behind. Miss R took the under 40 female with the birthday girl Nicky as the U 50 winner just behind. It was good to see Peter H recovered enough to take the over 58 mens'set.

    Finally there was some excellent food and puddings and ale at the Eden abode and Pam had made a rough, tough cake for Nicky's birthday which Pam named Marcus but Dr Rob named Mr Hardwick Thank you Pam and Mike for an excellent evening

    13-12-2005 Vine

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-12-14 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Tonight was Derek C virgin set and he was assisted by Roger on a pleasantly mild evening from the Vine at Dunham Massey.
    The following report was from Allan J who partook of the walking option Vine, Dunham - 13.12.05
    Tonight was my third in a row walk in Tony Higgins convalescent ward. I've long thought a walking group an excellent idea, but hoped I wouldn't need it in practice! My torn adductor muscle is healing very slowly, so I suspect I shall need nurse's attention for at least another couple of weeks.Tonight Mr H had no less than 12 bodies under his command, including the tiniest dog ever seen hashing. A young lady called Mhari, who Dave Lever managed to persuade to come out on a Tuesday night without actually speaking to her (really!), brought her pet Yorkshire terrier to go walkies with her. She also brought her Mother! He has the gift of the gab has our Dave. If he can get my Mother out on a Tuesday, I'll give him a bonus tick!

    Mr H planned and operated a nice flat and firm footed loop that brought the walkers back to the Vine at 21.10, just as the first of the runners returned. Tonight's gold, silver and bronze awards went perhaps a little unexpectedly to Peter Rose, Mike Eden and Tony Ellis, for their on time return. It rapidly became apparent that this punctuality was due to a tactical withdrawal they carried out about 20.50, when they went right when the pack went left! They knew where they were, so getting to the bar first seemed sensible; to make sure they got an early pint.
    It was pure co-incidence that none of this hardened Hash trio would be driving home! Nor that the Vine serves pints at under £1.40 per pint!In fact, Mr Ellis was on his 3rd pint before most of the runners were back in the car park, let alone the bar! Apparently, there had been some hiccups on the trail that led to the pack becoming packs in the plural, and in 2 cases packs of one. I had noticed when the walkers got back to the cars, that Russell Craig (Ken's son) who is back for a week or so from terriering in Iraq, was walking round the car park getting bluer by the moment. He didn't have the necessary car key. He said he'd lost the pack, so used his military training to affect a similar withdrawal to that executed by our hardened trio. A quick loan of my padded jacket hopefully helped him get a bit warmer.

    As with Noah and his Ark, eventually hashers started to appear two by two in the bar, with tales of not finding checks, or any markers, and then not finding any other runners. Paul Jackson and Dave Arthur found themselves as a pack of 2, and despite much hollering couldn't find the pack. A knock on a cottage door, brought a very elderly lady to her door step, to offer suitable navigational guidelines to this unhappy duo that meant they were 2 of the lucky ones, who had at least ordered a pint before Tony Ellis hoovered up his second!Eventually, the pilot and navigator for the evening's extravaganza returned. Messrs Turner and Clark were greeted by suitable epithets, mainly along the lines of how long the trail was etc etc, but also queries about whether they had deliberately hatched a route to make sure they had a sure fire winner in the Hash of the Year contest.
    I'm not sure many of us actually want to win that damned award. I think they realised things were a bit dicey, when they had a 6 way check near the end, and didn't have enough runners left to check the checks!Discussions in the pub on a trails length are usually fun but pointless, as it's not easy to measure the route. However, tonight Ray reached into his vet's bag of tricks, and produced a proper wheel for calculating distance. After a quick driving lesson on how it worked, a whiz round the marked trail produced an estimated distance of 11 ¾ kilometres - which is about 7 and 1/3 miles in old money.
    Apparently, this was a little shorter than the originally planned trail, but not the "over 8 miles" Dave Arthur suggested it was! Perhaps a little on the tough side for a Tuesday night, but after half an hour of cheerful mutterings about the trail, more important matters took over!Because pints are so cheap in the Vine, I'd suggested before the "off " we put a little less in the kitty for 2 drinks than we normally do. A point that did not find favour with the On Sec/Treasurer/Boss lady/ and she who will drive us all home but only if we're good! Heather apparently needs a few quid to make sure AAA subscriptions and the like can be met. Despite my abundant generosity, there seemed to be a surplus as closing time loomed. Now it's rare for Dave Arthur to get involved in the money side, but tonight he very firmly decided that kitty money must be drunk. He went round the assembled multitude at least twice offering extra alcohol, and when that failed to eliminate the surplus, showered the survivors with packets of sweet Thai curry flavoured crisps!

    Despite all his enthusiasm we still made 25 quid, so in the end Heather decided she would drive us home after all. Phew!!

    06-12-2005 Farmers Arms

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-12-07 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    David and David tonight achieved a hash truly memorable to them in that there were no problems, no-one got lost and everyone got back at much the same time. I did fall over though.. twice.

    I would have said fell down but David T was very pernickerty here and as once happened on the Sanstone trail going up a hill and my final attitude to the vertical was about 45 degrees I was not really down.It was a warmish evening compared to the previous week. Although there had been a fair bit of rain over the weekend the ground in the woods was sandy and remained fairly dry under foot. It was however dark in the woods and one or two of the markers had suffered from the rain but the hares memorably let the pack find their own way, mostly successfully

    All in all a good trail well run. Thanks chaps

    29-11-2005 Bird In Hand

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-11-30 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Mike and Pam returned from the warmth of Portugal to set the trail for a misty/ freezing fog evening where there was a good covering of snow to about 2 inch deep. (No real difference there I hear you say) A truly noble effort.

    The car park at the start was a little tricky - trying to get in while other visitors were trying to get out and after a brief explanation of the Cheshire Hash rules (on the left unless they are on the right,, off you go) we all legged it down the road.It was not a very cold night , about 0 Celsius, so only two tops were needed. Once we got moving it was fine. Though if we stopped my spec's steamed up to render me blind (my excuse anyway)

    It was soon off the road and through the snowy fields, not too many soggy patches but sufficient to keep Martin H happy. There was an instance of mislaid pack when we all missed the small gap that the footpath took and ended up in a farmers Garden. He was quite good about it though and quite amused. What he thinks about a herd of hashers running about in the snowy dark I don't know!The trail continued it's merry way back to the pub where the walkers had already made their way towards the beer.
    Sam Smiths again so a reduction on the kitty there. Good trail from all involved

    22-11-2005 Whipping Stocks

  • Report by :- David T on 2005-11-23 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    As I am still not fit I did not attend But we have that nice Mr Taylor to thank for the following report
    Whipping Stocks 22/11/05
    Attendance for the night's run was somewhat lower than normal, probably given the trail layers (Dr R Stephenson) reputation for setting challenging Olympic standard cross country runs occasionally punctuated by checks when circumstances absolutely require one - normally the appearance of a large impassable geographic feature, rather than just a set of footpaths or crossroads.
    The trail layer warned the pack that the run in was longer than his usual one (initial estimates therefore ranged between 3 and 4 miles) and that as some of the checks were a little long, a couple of muster points had been inserted to allow the pack to regroup (a reasonable pre trail summary could therefore have been 3 miles, check 1, muster, check 2, muster, 3 mile run in). Back marker for the night was Paul Jackson who might have expected to be some distance behind the FRB's by the end.
    All but two of the pack were pleasantly surprised as the trail unfolded as it did appear to be well marked and despite some longer sections the back markers could see or at least hear the front for most of the evening. Messrs Jones and Lever did however experience mixed reactions to two respective mishaps. El Presidente was an early faller, brought down by an apparently flat road surface some 200m from the pub. He was helped to recover by a number of passing hashers. Mr Lever misjudged a bridge in the woods and received no sympathy whatever from any passing runners as he lay prostrate in the undergrowth. Several rather unfairly appeared to choose to run over him rather than the bridge.

    The run in was, as advised, on the long side and did pass at least two sets of checkable footpaths, one just south west of Stockport and the next a little north east of Holmes Chapel , but at least we had been warned. Thanks to the setters

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-11-23 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    And another from Allan but from a different viewpoint
    Whipping Stocks - 22.11.05
    P.S. I know it's unusual to have a P.S. at the beginning, but Tony Ellis insisted. Apparently, he has checked with the Big Lock, and the Wobbly Willie I mentioned we'd tasted in the pub a couple of weeks ago, was a Wobbly Bob and not a Willie. My apologies to his new found Deep South friend Willie Bob!
    P.P.S. And another apology! I got my Kenyons and Horners mixed up in last week's missive. T'was Peter Horner who returned following his recent ailment not Peter Kenyon.

    This is getting to be like the Guardian with 'sorry for the error' comments all over the place. Actually, the Guardian now has a daily column apologising for the mistakes printed in the previous days edition. If the Daily Mail did that, they'd have to produce a new supplement every day.

    And so to the Whipping Stocks run, all 175 yards of it! Having followed Ken Craig into Peover Hall grounds at the first check, I promptly twisted my ankle and crashed into the crumbling concrete, left hip first. I found myself flat on my back, gazing at star less sky, and thinking, 'Maybe I'll lie here for a minute'. An upside down Ken appeared at 12 o'clock in my hazy vision asking the original question, 'Was I all right?' Apparently, he'd heard a crack as my ankle gave way, a whoosh as my torch flew past his left ankle, and a muffled thud as 12 and a lot stone of El Presidente hit the crumbling stone of the old road leading to Peover Hall.
    Within a few seconds my vision had a clock face full of Hashers eagerly gathering round to see the reason for this unexpected but welcome delay in their progress. A quick mental check of the body revealed considerable aches and pains particularly down the left hand side, but all the articulated bits seemed to be able to articulate. When I managed to get my horizontal hold converted to the vertical, Doctor Stephenson (chief pilot for the evening) took this as concrete evidence I was fine, and whipped a reluctant pack into action, and off they trundled towards the Hall. Paul Jackson who was Rob's back up was much less convinced of my miraculous recovery, and as I tried to 'run off' the fall, kept looking back to assess my clearly creaky condition. Thanks Paul.

    So, I made a tactical withdrawal back to the pub. A very slow change into civvies was followed my tipping Tony's front passenger seat right back, and half an hour listening to Man Utd completely failing to suppress the modest sporting challenge offered by Villareal.Tipping the seat back seemed to make me invisible, as when the pack returned, Tony couldn't find the car key (in the ignition), couldn't see me (in the front passenger seat), didn't try the boot (open), and set off at great speed to the bar to find me and the key (both still in the car!)

    Anyway, all safely sorted in the end, except for my frame, which is clearly going to need some panel beating and a couple of coats of Dulux before it can be taken out again on a Tuesday night.It was a delight to see Tim Mallon returning after the serious bodywork he's had to undergo many months ago. Apparently, he has been very slowly building up the distance he can run, and with the help of some extra structural support work was prepared to give his still slim bodywork a gentle test run. Good choice Tim!
    The trail was a Rob special, where he confessed BEFORE the start that there one or seven very long runs between checks, which meant muster points, were to be observed to keep the group a group. This was coupled with a suspiciously casual reference to possibly damp ground conditions. Mud folks, and lots of it! Anyway, Tim was vertical in the bar afterwards, so hopefully all is OK.The bar was Hash heaven. Virtually empty, with a roaring log fire, and beer at £1.41 a pint, so Bridget informed me. I think next week is at the Bird in Hand which may be another local Sam Smiths pub. If so, I think we'll temporarily revert to a £4 kitty for 2 drinks. If anyone has a list of Sam Smiths pubs in Cheshire, can they please shout, as using them could save us all serious cash. The last time I checked Sam Smiths clearly had cost control as a priority, as they don't seem to have spent any cash on a web site, which I'd optimistically assumed would list their boozers! Other local breweries that are cheap are Hyde's, Holts, Burtonwood and John Willie Lees. Yes, I know some Hashers may not be partial to some of these brews, but so many of the big name brands are way over £2 a pint.P.P.S. Is it true that Dave Lever went A over T at some stage in the run?

    15-11-2005 Swettenham Arms

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-11-16 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    A report from the Grand Master -
    Swettenham Arms:- 15.11.05
    My reader may remember that a couple of weeks ago, John Seymour was unable to run because he was buying a car on E Bay. Well, it's arrived, or at least a minibus has! John's purchased an 8 seat, 4 wheel drive, 2 metre high vehicle, that has seen previous owners in its original native oriental habitat. It's a second hand Japanese import.

    For the trip to the Swettenham Arms, John filled it with 1/5 of the running Hashers for the evening! 4 more of these vehicles, and the entire Hash could be accommodated on my front drive! Though changing might be a bit cosy!
    As John drove us through the countryside, moonlight bathed the fields, and his passengers were heard muttering, 'No torches needed tonight then!' 3 minutes into the run, and rain is falling! Apparently, showers had been predicted on the local weather an hour or so before the off, and for once the forecasters were spot on.

    Tonight Mr Higgins had 10 walkers under his anorak, including a returning Peter Kenyon, who has had a virus. He should have updated his software. Anyway, welcome back Peter, and also Roger and Boswell both making another perambulating appearance. Hopefully, all 3 will be fit for running shortly.

    This evenings run was 10 kilometres long according to Martin Burke, one of the two talented setters. My measuring wheel reckons a touch more than 10K, in fact in real money it seems we ran 7 miles. That makes me feel better, as on Tuesday I felt horrid! T'was far too fast a trail for me, and early on I spent 4 or 5 checks being a distant tail gunner to the pack. Thinking I knew all the local paths proved to be a little optimistic. Over the fields towards the end, I thought we were hashing north, when 'go west young man' was the appropriate phrase.
    Later still we struggled up onto tarmac, and Tony Ellis guided me right to the pub, when I was convinced we should be going left. In fact, the trail DID go left. Despite it being 5 past 9, and the pub only being 300 yards away, Martin and Nicky decided a final loop away from the boozer to take in the Swettenham ford had to be done. Inevitably, Mr Hack drowned his trainers in the ford, whilst the rest of the pack were more prudent and used the causeway!Our arrival in the bar was news to the duty staff, who weren't at all convinced that 2 blokes really wanted 20 pints of bitter!
    Once enthusiasm was restored to their right arms, 5 pints were poured, and then... ... ... ... ... ... ..the barrel had to be changed. Still, the Hyde's is real ale and at £1.90 is good value. There was a guest ale available, but at very much the wrong side of 2 quid!Last week at the Big Lock, Tony Ellis tried their guest ale. He'd had 2, and decided he would spend some of his own cash on a third. When he came and sat next to me, he'd drunk half of it, but asked me to try it. 'Why?' says I, as alcoholic gifts from Tony are a little rare. 'Just try it and tell me what you think!' he said. 'It's an odd one isn 't it?' says I, 'it'll be a guest beer. What's it called?' 'Oh, I can't quite remember, something like Wobbly Willie!' he says. So, I have a taste of Tony's Wobbly Willie. He's right it doesn't taste too good. 'Rather sweet for a bitter. Would you like me to finish it off? I asked. Now his Wobbly Willie may not be to his taste, but he's not going to let me near it again, and he rapidly polishes it off. Phew!

    08-11-2005 Big Lock

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-11-09 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The trail from the Big Lock in Middlewich was one of the wetter in recent history.

    It doesn't rain often during the Tuesday hash but when it does it is professional about it. Nick and Heather set on the Cheshire island that is Middlewich...Look at a map.. observe the rivers and canals.. It's an island. no duty free though.
    Nick started the post-Bonfire night hash by testing his flares (not trousers) from his boat to check for safety. He then introduced us to the concept of the whistle to identify the on-on.
    The off was down a canal towpath. There were some slight issue in identifying which was the canal and which the towpath.. one reflective surface is much like another. First check down the whistle came into play so I ran back towards it to be confronted by the pack bearing down on me.
    Although a proportion of the trail was actually on road the bit that sticks in mind was definately the canal banks as we covered so much of them. Middlewich has canal junctions to deal with with very low bridges. It was a good job Millie was not present as she would have stepped off any number of times.A little later on a section of pack (about a third) fell off trail and as there was some local knowledge involved in getting back to the pack I stayed with them. Urk!
    One was David T so the speed was sufficient to cause an Achilles twinge to make me walk back to beerAn excellent trail though.

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-11-09 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan's Version
    One of us must have done something to upset their God! Having run for months in drought like conditions on Tuesday nights, the weather like the worm has turned, and rain is everywhere all the time. In fact, I think the worm has drowned.

    The On Sec and her devoted Foot Soldier apparently laid this production about a fortnight before the off. Apparently, when they finished trail laying they had dry shoes!! Well, since then prodigious precipitation has pummelled Cheshire to pulp, although it had eased on the night to a steady drizzle when Nick called the pack to order, to deliver the evening's instructions.

    He did this in his usual Guy Fawkes way by blinding the assembled Hashers, when he exploded one of the time expired flares, he'd rescued from the good ship Thistleton. Having produced the lights, our impresario then introduced the music. A whistle!! Perhaps, this was also part of his boat's safety equipment, or possibly he was a referee in an earlier existence. Anyway, he announced this would be a whistle blowing Hash. The idea being when the correct trail was found, Nick would exercise his lungs, and the poor souls who had gone wrong, would then follow our Pied Piper as he disappeared up his own trail. I don't think this will catch on!

    And so to the action! This consisted of an immediate six straight straight ons down a towpath, which was inevitably flooded. Soaked shoes after 50 yards. In fact, by the end of this epic my shoes were no more. The sole of my right boot had parted from its upper all the way back to the heel. It was flapping about like the jaws of an alligator. Crocodile shoes perhaps?
    After about 20 minutes of sodden action, Nick again enlivened the evening by firing another rocket to illuminate the delights of industrial Middlewich. Why? The unexpected whoosh of this missile did nothing positive for my dodgy ticker, and gave poor Skye a major fright! Canines and fireworks are not a good mixture. Still, she gathered herself up, flattened her black and white hair back down, and went on to sink into the mire with the rest of us, when the trail took us across the roaring weir over the Wheelock, and past the half million pound conversions that were Stanthorne Mill.
    A final splosh down the towpath, (for the third time) brought the pack back home to deal with one of my least favourite Hashing activities - changing out of sodden mucky running gear whilst it's still raining. I availed myself of the back seat of the On Sec's car to minimise the mizzle. Unfortunately, I forgot to shut the car door, after I finally won the wrestle to get dry gear on. To add to that hiccup the Foot Soldier forgot to lock the car! When we returned to the motor 3 pints later, the On Sec discovered the open door, and a very soggy back seat! El Presidente and the Foot Soldier were heavily frowned at!

    Finally, a thank you to all involved in volunteering volunteers to set some trails next year. I'd initially asked Nick if he'd be good enough to come amongst' the Hash, as he is excellent at persuading Hashers to volunteer to cover the countryside with Andrex. Somehow Nick got Heather got involved, and then somehow Mr Lever seemed to take charge. He seemed to spend the entire evening getting autographs, and in the end no fewer than 22 Tuesdays in 2006 now have new owners. Thank to those who have volunteered, and to the arm twisters.
    My only slight concern on looking at the new list is what to make of the 3 trails volunteered for by Hashers who weren't there!

    01-11-2005 Chetwode Arms

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-11-02 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Tonight was another clear evening for a trail set by Jean M and David L from the Chetwode Arms near Antrobus.
    Martin and Maggie and I arrived on time but the hash galloped off rapidly before we were quite ready. A bit prompt that..The style was set from the first check..It went fairly rapidly, not ideal for my tweaked achilles tendon but I carried on gamely. I then made serious error no 1. I checked and was wrong. Leg it back in to pack . Then serious error 2 , checked again and wrong. As a result I then spent the rest of the night playing catch up at speed.

    The trail was blessed with a multitude of two way checks which had a tendency to pull the pack into a long streamer. There was at one point a muster - intentional or not- which brought us together to make a long run-in across fields back to the pub and some Jennings'
    Cheers hares

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-11-02 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    And from El Presidente
    Chetwode Arms, Lower Whitley - 01.11.05 November!!
    With this countries peculiar need for time travel twice a year, darkness now descends during my afternoon nap! However, I suppose it's been dark for a month or so by the time we set off on our weekly mystery tour, and the weather makes no difference to my Hashing abilities, cerebral or physical whether it's dark, light, dry or wet! Talking of wet, tonight wasn't! Well, not till throwing out time when it doesn't matter a b... ..!I thought tonight's venue was new to me, but the On Sec assured me I'd been there before. How did she know? I'm the one who gets called an anorak for having all the Hash stats! Inevitably on checking said stats, she was right! We've been there once before, EXACTLY eleven years ago to the day. In eleven years time, Higgo will be 81, but provided he still has his harem of walkers to care for, I bet the old beggar will still be hashing!

    After last week's relatively modest half term turnout, Mr Lever and his associate Ms Milton had around 40 bodies to nurture and cherish on their grand tour of the parish of Whitley. Higgo had his now regular band of foot sloggers, including Tuppy (where's my tick) Arthur, and a most welcome walking re-appearance after a cut and paste job from the surgeons of Roger and his canine pal Boswell. In true Hash spirit I heard one regular greet the returning couple with the comment, "Boswell, how wonderful to see you. But, whose this new fellow with you?" Ah, the camaraderie and sympathy offered by the Cheshire Hash!

    And so off to the unavoidable Hashing! Jean had announced before we set off, '6 miles and 23 checks!' So, quite a long one with not too many rests. Did I say rests? With the continuing gales and rain, I'd foolishly rather expected the trail to have been blown into Scotland. But tonight for no apparent reason, the leaders continually found the markers. The pack was at the 5th check, before I managed to get a break! Never in the field of Cheshire hashing, has so much success been had, by so many front-runners, for so long.The result was Jean and David were left desperately handing maps to the inevitably struggling tail gunners, and when they ran out of maps, they were reduced to giving verbal guidelines. You know the sort of thing, 'If you want to short cut, then you take the next left, past 2 farms on the right, mind the cattle grid, then you'll come to a stile on the left that's difficult to see, if you go over that... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..!'They didn't lose anybody! They did absolutely the right thing, in not leaving the back without aid and succour, but leaving the speedsters to find their own way. And speed we did! I was back in the pub car park at 20.56!

    If the trail really was 6 miles, which both the On Sec and my own subsequent measurements confirmed, then I don't remember such a fast trail. I certainly don't know of a more successful loo roll hunting expedition!We were in the pub so early, that before 10 p.m. Mr Hack was heard asking the On Sec, 'Any kitty left?' She took a quick look into his allegedly rather glazed eyes and asked, 'How many have you had?' 'Just the 3!' was his optimistic reply. 'Then there's NO kitty left!' was her flinty response. A quick count of the currency in his pocket produced a satisfactory solution to his needs. A little later Maggie was looking for Max, as her bus was ready for their driver to take them home.
    After her second unsuccessful circuit of the bar she commented, 'This pubs got so many rooms, we could have had a Hash in it, not from it!'

    And also...

  • Report by :- Heather on 2005-11-02 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    and from the on-on sec
    'It was exactly 11 years since we last ran from the Chetwode Arms, a trail laid by Les Andrews who most of you will not have met (a compact bearded friend of Rod, who disappeared to work overseas and hasn't been seen for many a year).

    It must have been an uneventful run as I can't remember anything about it.Anyway back to this week - a jolly good trail of 10km which was set by Jean and her assistant David L. The Trail set off at a cracking pace and didn't let up until the setters managed to call a muster about a mile or so from the end and managed to get everyone back to-gether again (well almost everyone, due to the pace lots of hashers had disappeared off the back each with one of David's maps to find their way back to the pub).The Foot Soldier and I had been out running on Monday afternoon to set next weeks trail which was done at a fairly brisk pace (set against the tight deadline of it going dark before we had finished), the old legs were feeling the effects of this and another high speed gallop around the lanes of Whitley.
    Hearing the OnOn called when you are still a field and a half from the check is most disheartening!!

    Despite the Email from Mr Lever warning us of knee deep mud and expected missing markers due the very inclement conditions that prevailed when Jean dragged him round to set the trail the previous Sunday there was very little mud and even most of that could be avoided with care and the markers were being found by the eagle eyed checkers and we all arrived back at the pub by 9.00 p.m.. Must be a record for a trail of over 6 miles!
    The walkers being led by Mr Higgins obviously expected us to be out for much longer so they didn't arrive back at the pub until the runners were nicely settled with their first pints of the evening. The drinks were a bit on the expensive side but seemed to slip down a treat.
    Good trail Jean, David is coming along nicely under your guidance. OnOn Sec

    25-10-2005 Church Inn

  • Report by :- David L on 2005-10-26 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    A report by David L
    After the hash last night, I have a good definition of the word chaos. There haven't been many "memorable" hashes this year - "memorable" hashes are the disasters that stick in the mind - BUT our hare for the evening seemed intent on having his name in lights at the Hash bash in February. It was a pretty good effort.

    Unfortunately the recent torrential rain had destroyed most of the markers - I only saw a few bits of tissue all night, although some chalk markers survived. It does seem quite pointless running down a lane looking for tissue that will probably not be there .... but we continue to do it ..... WHY?
    We lost quite a few hashers from time to time; some unofficial musters were necessary to collect everyone together again and the hare had to run back to collect lost souls, as and when required; as the rest of the group stood around muttering. This exercise certainly demonstrated the advantage of having a backmarker; and when Allan Jones was appointed as backmarker, towards the end of the proceedings, there was a return to order.The Hare did not seem entirely certain about the direction we should be running at all times. We often seemed to be running completely the wrong way across a field and then we would veer off in the opposite direction when someone spotted a stile.

    I particularly liked the part where some of us were all standing around wondering how to get out of a particular field and the hare was heard to cry out "Does anyone know the way?". Those hashers who had found their way out of the field, and were standing in the road on the other side of the hedge, watched in "not so quiet" amusement, but not wishing to interfere.At one point, the hare did remark to me that "It all looks different in the dark" - it certainly does, Paul. It was windy; the wind meant that very few could hear any shouts from the hare - particularly if you had ventured far down an "off". When all went quiet and no one seemed to be coming your way, it was time to "sprint" back to the check to see if you could see anyone trotting off into the distance. You didn't seem to be missed and as total numbers were diminished - it seemed to be an adaptation of an Agatha Christie play - " and then there were none" !!

    It was a very wet and muddy hash but it was a nice trail through pleasant countryside and we got back in reasonable time. In one field I did put my foot down a rabbit hole and fell face first crying out in surprise. Luckily I wasn't injured and I managed to warn others about the hazard. However, I had moved on before the hare repeated the feat but unfortunately he suffered a shoulder injury which caused him some discomfort for a while. I don't want to be critical - as you know, it's not in my nature to complain ..... and we are setting the hash next week ......... you never know what might happen. Thanks Paul - it was FUN.Best regards Victor

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-10-26 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    And from Allan
    It never rains on a Tuesday", has been a Hash mantra since the times before Southampton won the FA Cup. Usually, it's accurate. However, the trails for the 2 weeks before tonight's escapade were conducted in a distinctly fluvial atmosphere!

    A couple of hours before "the off", it looked as though Paul's trail would be the hat trick, but someone's God relented and moisture was only served from the ground up, and not the sky down.There may have been no rain, but wind there was, and indeed had been for the previous few days, coupled with considerable precipitation. I suspected Paul's trail might have been badly mangled by the inclement weather. I wasn't wrong!
    Apparently, there was much muttering about missing markers, and On On calls that couldn't be heard. The rain did for the paper, and an unholy alliance between the high wind, Mobberley church bell ringers and the aluminium beasts from Ringway Airport, did for the calls!

    Immediately after the first check, whilst the 19.40 First Choice stopping flight for Tenerife roared overhead, Paul was charging across the meadows muttering, 'It didn't look like this in the daylight!' A somewhat ominous opening to the evening's endeavours.A little later in the piece I followed a confident looking Dave Arthur off the fields onto an uneven but firm path. My confidence was misplaced! We were wrong. Now before the 'off' Paul was offering maps to those that wanted them. I never spurn gift maps! So, I wrestled the plastic swaddled aid from under my 14 waterproof layers, to see if a tactical out flanking manoeuvre was possible, to avoid an about turn and minimise the muck.
    The answer was 'yes'. Just keep going down the firm path, left where it met the main road, and then 2 more lefts would bring me to the stile where the pack should left the fields.As I waited at the stile, the torch lights of the pack bobbled gently as they trundled towards me, and then instead of coming directly to the stile, bobbled sideways across in front of me, and steadily disappeared towards the road I'd just short cut up! So back where I'd just come from then!

    I discovered Kevan and 3 or 4 others on the road, separated from the rest of the pack in a field by a ditch, a thorn hedge and a line of barbed wire. This could be a case of cartographic inexactitude I thought. Whilst Kevan was exhorting the pack to go, 'Go up the hedge, there's a gate you can get over!', the voice of the trail layer could be heard far back in the field calling, 'I've found it!'Faced with a choice between believing Kevan who had clearly got to where he shouldn't be, and a trail layer who had got them where THEY shouldn't be, the pack gave Paul a second chance.
    A gathering together occurred at a now infamous stile, before someone amazingly found one, or indeed two, survivors of Paul's trail laying loo roll, and we were all off back on the original route.The route continued round the edge of runway 2, before apparently repeating part of the original trail that your scribe had avoided with his tactical cheating. Seemingly this gave the pack a second opportunity to fall down Alice's rabbit hole, that Mr Lever (who else), had scored a bulls eye with half an hour earlier.
    By now the pack had decided they knew where the pub was, and strength returned to reinvigorated limbs. Often this "I know where we are" decision isn't right and the pack goes wrong. However, with the bell ringers in Mobberley church, which is immediately opposite the pub, really giving it some, there wasn't any doubt the end was in sight.So, all were safely counted in. Mr Rose after the previous weeks tribulations was one of the first back to the cars. There he was greeted by young Mr Seymour, who it appeared hadn't arrived in time for the off. His excuse was fairly original. 'I was bidding for a new car on E Bay, and didn't notice what time it was!'
    And I thought a Tuesday evening in a pub selling beer at £2.45 a pint made for an expensive evening.

    18-10-2005 Cock O' Budworth

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-10-19 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Tonight Allan stepped in to set the trail from the Cock o' Budworth a pub with inexpensive beer.. always a good hash sign. Martin had uttered the words 'house drama'. Not to do with the Channel 5 program with Hugh Laurie but the fact that his daughters were involved with a school performance and a 3 line whip had been instigated.

    There was a small and subdued (hem hem) celebration from Jean due to the hash weekend results being up on the website and then we prepared for the off

    The evening had a slight incidence of drizzle but otherwise no problem.The trail was set out across trails and utilising some fields taking in the churchyard at Great Budworth and all the little lanes and byways. The end was well set taking us along a nice green lane before giving us an uphill to the pub. Peter Rose went missing for a bit at the end as he had decided to take a short cut. Unfortunately it returned him to the pub long after everyone else and he needed to catch up at least a pint.
    A good trail.

    15-10-2005 Wynnstay Hotel

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-10-16 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Hash Weekend :- 15-16th October Wynnstay Hotel, Oswestry.
    Results from Wayfaring1st.
    Brian, Jean, John S and Nick. 41 points. (No time penalties).
    2nd. Helen and Jenny, John M, Max and Rod. 39 points. (After deducting 4 time penalty points).
    3rd. David, Heather, Paul and Peter. 37 points. (No time penalties).
    4th. Chris and Maggie, Martin, Nikki and Tony E. 29 points. (After deducting 3 time penalty points).

    Of particular interest (at least to the setters - John H and Tony H), was the fact that at each of the 54 place settings the Lake District feature was found and identified by at least one of the participants. In some cases more than one of a team's member found the same point!! Congratulations to all.

    This hash weekend trails superbly located and organised by Heather, Nick and Tony Higgins was notable for three things
    The excellent weather
    Dave Arthur finally coming to one after 20 years
    Millie the dog completing her 100th trail.
    The last of these is remarkable in that Millie has been blind for the past couple of years , but her keenness to get going at the start of the trail is always obvious
    Dave and Tuppy enjoyed their brief weekend before setting off before the wayfaring on the Sunday morning while the rest of us ran away in different directions to collect as many of the Lakeland references as possible. see Tony's notes above

    04-10-2005 Tigers Head

  • Report by :- Heather on 2005-10-05 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    A report from the on-on sec
    The downside of this time of year is that it is about dark by the time we leave home to set off for the Hash, no excuse for forgetting torches anymore.
    Allan (El Presidente) was our pilot for our trip to the Tiger's Head at Norley, freshly returned from his tour around Andalusia. Pick up time was arranged for the end of The Archers - Allan had missed the excitement of the last two weeks while on his holidays - so Tony had to listen to our update of the goings on in Ambridge as we sped along the A556. On our arrival at the pub Allan was obviously not concentrating on the job in hand and almost took us into the car park via the bowling green.

    Warning were given in the car park of the need for ropes and crampons which seemed a little over the top given the lack of precipices in the Norley area and David L's problem with vertigo. Anyway off we went and as usual an excellent trail had been laid by the Davids duo, with twists and turns and loops thrown in to confuse us all. Allan's problem with navigation into the car park seemed to cure itself and he was heard calling the 'on-on' several times usually when I was off checking in the opposite direction.The trusty back marker had to be admonished for abandoning the rear (who thought they were the front) of the pack after calling them back he had promptly disappeared.

    Only one large puddle was to be found on this trail, despite the recent downpours, and of course young Martin managed to dash through it at high speed splattering Tony E. with something unspeakable.On return to the Tiger's Head there was comment that Skye appeared to be limping and that perhaps a consultation with one of the veterinaries would be in order. Skye's doting owner decided that this was far to an expensive option and that she would probably recover! We did meet the 'walking party' at one point, going in the opposite direction I think.
    However due to Tony H's impeccable leadership they arrived back at the pub at the same time as the rest of us. A very convivial evening followed in the back room where we had all been shepherded to avoid upsetting the 'Quiz'.

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-10-05 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allans version and Pre-port
    As the Foot Soldier was driving us back from the Airport following our gallant, but inevitably doomed attempt to drink all the Rioja in Andalusia, he reminded us it was a Tuesday, and 'Was I going running?' To my utter amazement, I heard myself say, 'Yes, and I'll drive!' Nick narrowly avoided having to contact his motor insurers, as his concentration wavered, whilst he absorbed what my wife said was a fairly unique moment.

    Apparently, my actually volunteering to drive on a Tuesday is apparently as rare as England winning the World Cup. 'A good omen for next year then!' I retorted. I think my liver had decided that after 2 complete weeks of sampling every Riojaan wine within arm reach, it felt it was entitled to a holiday, and somehow had programmed the brain to agree with it.So, it was a gentle trundle down to the Tigers Head, for another Taylor-Lever production.

    What stalwarts they are providing good well laid and marshalled trails! So, OK, they lost half a dozen Hashers at the first check, some 15 yards of the pub, but that can happen to anyone!After this tiny hiccup at the start, everything went fine until the second, third and fourth checks, where on every occasion I guessed right, but couldn't find the second marker! A, how to describe it, " vigorous" discussion ensued with the two trail layers over the distance markers ought to be from a check. Inevitably, all my moderate peaceable queries were met with complete indifference by the trail layers, but not by a resident of "Dun Roaming Farm", who emerged to somewhat less than peaceably query my nocturnal activities, when I finally found myself alone and wrong up a mucky path. Funny, how a quick turn of unexpected speed can be found when necessary.Funny, how this speed can evaporate after 5 miles of mixed Hashing, when the watch says 21.05, and one's enthusiasm for running, and lack of physical activity for 3 weeks begins to take its inevitable toll.My delight at finding myself safely back in the bar, led me to an unusual act of generosity when Mr Hack asked if I could substitute for him, for a trail he was down for at the end of October, that he planned to execute from the Cock at Great Budworth.

    Apparently, he has domestic and work issues that mean attendance that Tuesday is not obligatory. I suspect that's a big disappointment for him, as he wasn't due to drive that night, and pints are apparently only £1.50 a pint in the Cock!
    Now I know it's unusual, but I have a report to make on the trail that Martin can't lay, that I have, but we haven't run yet. If you can follow that.The Cock is a good Hash pub, cheap ale, with plenty of roads and paths for a trail layer to play with. So, I drew up a suitable plan, and set off last Sunday to tie the countryside up in loo paper. After about 2 miles, the plan led me across some countryside that failed the Hack test! This is a formula designed to assess whether the nature of the trial is acceptable, otherwise trail layers must have a re-think.It is quite complicated, but in simple terms compares the trails depth of mud, with the level of Martin's knees. As long as the former is lower than the latter, then the trail is deemed acceptable, and all complaints from wimpish Hashers can be ignored.
    Well kiddies, at grid ref SJ670776, just where the map says "sewage works", be assured this trail failed. It's absolutely horrid. My ankle high waterproof walking boots are great for keeping the feet dry, but don't work when fluid pours in over the top!We will NOT be seeing SJ670776 on the 18th October!!

    27-09-2005 Leigh Arms

  • Report by :- Ken C on 2005-09-28 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    I had a poorly back so here is A Report from Ken
    In the absence of your usual correspondents :-
    Legh Arms Acton Bridge.
    As far as I know everyone turned up at the correct pub this week but other Legh Arms are available. Many were surprised to see Lynn turn up with a torch in hand, especially me.I'd tried to put her off saying it was 'one of Brian's', but she wouldn't be deterred, so no Burtonwood for me.
    My warnings were unfounded as Brian was gentle to us with a fine, dry, undemanding trail which had us back before 9pm. The Autumn chill in the carpark had prompted most people to rug up with their winter long sleeves. Wimps! The few of us who stubbonly stuck to vests felt smugly satisfied on what turned out to be a lovely starlit evening.Rob blazed away at the front as we rattled around the railside paths on the Crowton side of Acton Bridge, and there was plenty of chat among the 'hardcore' runners about this Sunday's impending Sandstone Trail race.

    The funniest incident of the night was just before kick-off when Nicky stood chatting by her car with a cylindrical object in her hand which she assumed to be her torch. When we set off she found that she'd been holding a container of shampoo!
    Thanks Brian for a good trail, but if you can possibly make it a bit longer and harder next time, it might put off the fair-weather runners.Ken Craig

    20-09-2005 Romping Donkey

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-09-21 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    I wasn't certain about tonight as I had cricked my back at the weekend but as it seemed better off I went. Especially as Martin was driving.
    The destination The Romping Donkey at Hassel Green....Remember that name for later.

    The hares for tonight were the on-on sec and the foot soldier Nick and a pleasant evening air was apparent at the Romping Donkey (keep remembering. The smaller walking party went off first and the rest of us were checking from the off and in keeping with my usual style recently..I checked the wrong way.. a pattern to be repeated at many intervals over the evening

    We eventually went off along the old mineral line before taking a sharp left across a field with four curious cows in over the little bridge and off along another track. The ground was mostly soft underfoot over the night, just as well as the back packed in again but towards the end we had a small wade in mud followed by legging it beside the M6 on a rutted path before running back in to the Romping Donkey.After changing and going in for some very nice beer I was chatting with She who Must.. when she said..'I wonder where Roger T is.. He said he was coming.'

    Well.. soon after this Roger turned up. He had gone to the Romper in error. A pub near Manchester Airport
    He was brave enough , however to come down to the proper place and admit it.

    13-09-2005 Antrobus Arms

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-09-14 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan's Report - Antrobus Arms, Antrobus -
    It was a moonlight night in old Antrobus. I walked alone between some old and ancient hashers. Suddenly, I heard the plaintive cry of a young and bored runner. 'Come on, it'll be bleeding closing time before we get started'.
    You'd think that was all they came for. What about companionship, fellowship, the spirit of adventure? No, it's the spirit of malt that seems to get most of them going.So, run number @/'! commenced, with an ENORMOUS harem of walking ladies for Mr Higgins to control!
    Actually, Mr Horner wasn't so good so decided to have an amble with Higgo, rather than have a pound round under the guidance of El Presidente. Karen's husband Steve plus son Sam and dog Dylan completed a family gathering, which with 9 ladies and another couple of canines meant no less than 16 ticks for walkers.

    After last week's excellent altitude training effort from Carol and Bridget, I felt a more fen like approach might be appropriate. So 29 checks and 5 3/4; miles in classic Cheshire Hash country was inflicted on 38 runners, who when amalgamated with Higgo's hordes brought the total attendance to a record 54!Last week despite the roller coaster countryside, I'd felt better on the Hash than for months. This week was not quite so wonderful!
    One or two folk commented about how far the Lindford Christie contingent had got in front, and how well I'd done to gather them all back together 2 checks from home. Just... ... natural... ... talent !' I gasped whilst the heart rate returned to the merely stratospheric, and the sweat formed lakes in the pub car park.
    In fact, the front-runners eyes finally failed them at the end, whilst my frame failed all the way round, as I was struggling to keep up with the back.

    The one advantage of that is that no tail gunners were ever in danger of getting lost.To complete a thoroughly exhausting evening, I sprained my right ankle 2 checks from the finish. A combination of on coming main beam headlights, and a vertical 6-inch drop off the tarmac being the culprits. The On Sec safely delivered me home, after a couple of pints of not very wonderful anaesthetic. At 3 a.m. on Wednesday morning the anaesthetic wore off, and the pain was as severe as I've ever felt. Tears in the eyes and copious sweating followed for 30 minutes (my sympathetic management put it down to too much anaesthetic). By 3.30, the pain eased to a more normal arthritic ache, and the ankle was perfectly walk able at breakfast. Painful but walk able. How very very odd!Anyway, the delights of Andalusia await over the next 3 Tuesdays. The forecast temperature for Tuesday 20th September in Cordoba varies from 86 degrees F to 97, depending which website you believe. If you take one from the other, then you'll probably get the likely temperature for the Romping Donkey Hash.
    Converted into Centigrade, that unfunny joke may be fairly accurate. Happy Hashing.

    06-09-2005 Crag

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-09-07 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    This was Carol's first haring and she was assisted by the experienced Bridget.
    It was of further interest for 2 things..
    1 is she set in her local territory and
    2.. more scary.. that territory was Wildboarclough and Shuttlingsloe.

    Brook had crocked himself at Martin's but had bravely decided he would join the walking group. He also offered to drive which meant a small drink could be partaken by myself. As it happened Lori volunteered to drive back so B was able to have extra medicinal libations.

    Back to the trail..there was a goodly turnout with a lot early even allowing for the distance. Karen was out with the walkers with her other half and junior contingent as she has walked a seriously long 56 miles in the Peak District on the Saturday night. The pub was quite interesting but not obviously located for the passing trade as it was tucked downa small lane.
    We all assembled to the good news that it was 5-5.5 miles the view however showed that the only ways were up so off we went exploring many of them. The start was fairly looping and then teased us with a steep climb which at that instance was ignored by the hares. The land up there is crossed with footpaths which seem not to connect to anything but will suddenly come to a metalled road which was not apparent up until then.. We made good use of these with Bridget generally covering the front and Carol sweeping at the rear.

    As far as I could tell no-one was lost. At one point we passed the walkers who had used their footpaths early and were staying with road for the part of the trail in darknessAfter teasing us with the top of Shuttlingsloe was ran in at a remarkably prompt 9:00. Excellent trail and some nice o'kells beer in the pub

    04-09-2005

  • Report by :- David T on 2005-09-05 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Davi T Says -
    Duckington to Willington
    Due to the heavy entry from the Hash into Cheshire's toughest race it had been decided that a training session would be sensible. It is noteworthy that this session appeared sensible at 10 o'clock in the pub some weeks ago, but at 8.45 a.m. on a Sunday morning in the car park of the White Barn (the appointed meeting place) after a hash the night before, was perhaps not such a good idea.
    The aim was to deposit cars at the beginning and end of a twelve mile course (leaving the last 5 miles of the normal 17 mile A race unchallenged, for the moment) and run from Duckington to just below Kelsall.Even this relatively simple exercise caused some problems with Ken Craig getting lost in the lanes behind Utkinton and then most of the select group taking water and a change of clothes with them to the start point, when they should have been left in the car at the finish. At least we didn't leave the keys to the car at the finish in the car at the start, as Ken had managed a couple of years ago.

    If organisation was a forte, we wouldn't be hashing, and if Ken Craig could navigate he'd have a job in the aviation industry.The planned early start was also delayed by one member of the even more hardcore party of hashers having left her trainers at Martin Hack's house the night before. Jean did assure us that no other items of clothing were left behind. Once started the run itself went reasonably well across the scenic delights of Larkton and Bickerton Hill, up and down Raw Head and past Peckforton and Beeston Castles before settling into the long grind across the fields between Beeston and Kelsall. Simon Wright appeared too overcome by the views to feel any degree of lethargy, Paul Fairbrother set a good pace although the overall rate of progress did vary, particularly towards the end of the run.

    Overall, a good run. Further training sessions may be arranged, but are unlikely to feature in surveys of good organisational behaviour.

    03-09-2005 Martin's House

  • Report by :- David T on 2005-09-04 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    David T reports - Hack Towers
    Martin's annual afternoon hash commenced with a somewhat lower number of hashers than normally present for a Tuesday run. Basically if Messrs Hack and Richens ( nothing to do with me.. All Martins, I just backmarked.. M) had laid a trail with anything more than eight way checks, we would be out for some time.

    Nevertheless the hardcore, committed hashers, strode forth on a warm afternoon to do battle with various bovine herds. The route was reasonably flat and fairly predictable to begin with (well there must be some reason Ken Craig was at the front) and there were plenty of checking opportunities for everyone. As the trail passed into less familiar territory, the trail layers held the pack together well and the pack finished in a relatively tight bunch. Double ticks for all those present.
    Thanks to the trail layers.

    30-08-2005 Red Lion

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-08-31 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    We have reached the end of August and we have a warm-nay humid- evening for Mark E and Lynn..

    We met in the tight car park at the Red Lion in Little Budworth and I started off as I went on all night- the wrong way. I managed to get only one check right all night and so spent a lot of time on catch up.The hares started us off the way they wished to continue - off road. In fact there were very few roads involved, a certain amount of Tarmac I agree but mostly on long drives and only the occasional spell with a road or lane. You could tell that Mark was the major planner here.

    We made excellent use of the surrounding woodlands but at one point (as we circled the edge of Oulton Park) Bridget commented that it was reminiscent of a steeplechase.. long stretches of field and then a stile.
    We finished in grand style, across a field towards Budworth church and then a right turn to run in to the pub car park- followed by a few pints of Robinson's best.Great

    And also...

  • Report by :- Heather on 2005-08-31 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Report from the on-on sec
    Another balmy Tuesday evening greets the Hashers as they gathered in eager anticipation, this being Lynn's and Mark's first trail (although Lynn has acted as assistant to Ken on several excellent trails in the past).

    It seemed hard to believe that we would need torches before we got back to the pub, but most people had managed to remember to bring along their torch - one or two having brought two just in case this turned out to be a very long trail.We were assured at the start that the trail was not too long and had 28 checks and an electric fence - Lynn has her crib sheets neatly stapled together - we were called to order and set off from the pub promptly. Counted out by Tony H. and Roger T. would they be able to balance the hashers when we returned later. Another good turnout even though a few regulars were still away on holiday, Tony H. masterminded the walking party.

    Several of our 'faster' checkers were still on holiday (hooray) so the Hash progressed at a nice pace with time to chat and admire the views especially across The Millpool, which was as 'still as a millpool'. Dave A. having to slow down his usual headlong running along the roads to keep company with Luinga, who is beginning to feel her age on the harder surfaces but still scampering along across the fields.At one point whilst traversing a field Dave spotted several cows heading at high speed in his direction, he was a little more concerned when he realised that the leading beast was a very large bull and the only thing between where he was and the bull was a single strand of electric fence wire which he didn't think would be sufficient to stop a couple of tons of prime beef.
    His ploy of stopping seemed to confuse the bovines and they also stopped in their tracks and decided that the fun was over so trotted off to the other side of the field - much to the relief of Dave and the more alert Hashers who had spotted the bull.

    All in all a jolly good trail with dry paths, fields, woodland and even a little mud for Martin (the rest of us were able to run around the edge of it). Every one bid farewell to Lynn as she has now gone into hibernation for the winter months and will probably not reappear until the longer evening are upon us again in April.
    A jovial end to an excellent evening - the Guinness was very good, not the extra chilled stuff that they serve in some pubs these days which freezes the poor digits.

    23-08-2005 Plough & Flail

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-08-24 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    We were off to the Plough and Flail, where John Richardson, assisted by Mr Rose were setting from the recently re-designed establishment near Mobberley

    It had been threatening rain, but it cleared away from the West. It was a bit overcast so a torch was carried.It was left out of the pub and off down the track for the first of the fields. We seem to be running a hash for Lynn to view as there were horses at regular intervals to distract her from the fact we were off-road. At more than one point we met herds (flocks) of Llama's :- not Tibetan monks but South American cameloids.
    We ran on until we came upon John Halman outside his house. He used to hash regularly until a few years ago when he had a knee problem and had to refrain from the activity.We then proceded to hash past Mike and Pam's old place. The new owners don't keep the nettles in such check, though.

    Eventually we wended our way back to the pub along a long track in the gathering gloom until we reached a road -in the dark. I understand that I may have run past a check, but as I had seen a sign with the pub name on it, I did not check further but ran in.The landlords had set aside an area for us at the pub and we occupied it well.
    An excellent trail.

    16-08-2005 Egerton Arms

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-08-17 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    South of Congleton we went - to the pretty village of Astbury- to park in the village hall car park while Colin and Peter girded their thews and set us off on their trail.
    Would they lose us I hear you ask- would they break the habit of a hashtime?
    They did.. (break the habit) no-one was lost). Well, that's ruined the ending, no suspense left.
    One piece of detail was decided in discussion with the on-on sec and chief whipper in (Heather) and that was as the price of beer was inexorably rising above kitty levels (except in Holts and Sam Smiths pubs) the kitty would have to go to the 5 pound mark to cover the two pints element.

    Back to the run:- the hares took us out gently at first on a fine night- the last we would be able to complete without torches until next May.We took to the fields early on and made full use of the canal banks. I thought I had gone completely the wrong way at one point as the checks were so far out ( they were quite large when you found them though).the other difficulty was that some of the fields had dried out quite a bit after cattle had churned the surface so footing became quite a problem.

    All came safely home though after a very good trail

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-08-17 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Egerton Arms, Astbury - 16.08.05 -
    By Allan J
    Don't go down the main road into Congleton we were told!
    Don't park in the pub car park we were told!
    Don't you trail layers and publicans actually want an audience?
    Apparently, MacAlpines were relaying some underground service or other. Whilst the pub had the normal monthly meeting of the Congleton and District Werewolf Baiting Society, although they were all scheduled to leave before sunset!
    So, it was the church hall car park for the Hash, and the evening's running survivors could get the benefit of recently vacated warm seats. Except, of course, having run 6 miles, most Hashers stand when they get in the bar. Another one of the mysteries of hashing life, that I spend no time at all worrying about.

    Messrs. Bodimeade and Horner were the responsible adults tonight. Actually, that's not quite right. They were the trail layers. And a very responsible job they did particularly in recovering some itinerant Hashers who decided the back streets of Congleton, were an ideal place to hide and seek. They hid from our sterling navigators, whilst seeking that mythical treasure at the end of the rainbow, namely some markers! Part of the evening's excursion involved weaving through the late night golfers on Astbury golf course. At one stage Dave Arthur was gazing into a straggly hedge looking for paper, and found himself nose to nose with an elderly golfer looking for his ball. This ancient Tiger Woods apparently found Dave's explanation less than believable. And he couldn't find his ball.
    As we are now into mid August, torches are waking from their summer hibernation. I didn't forget to re-charge my batteries, but at least one very experienced Hasher managed to remember the find the candle' bit, but neglected to check for matches'. You always discover this when a muddy trail narrows to single file, down a lane completely covered in foliage. Next week torches will be essential.

    The pack was warned in advance that the drink in the pub was very expensive. A reluctant group of Hashers decided that perhaps we'd best find a fiver for 2 drinks, to avoid the embarrassing cap in hand business that is becoming more common late on Tuesday nights, when some poor soul has to pay the barman for the second round. But when pubs are charging £2.70 for an orange and soda, an increased kitty is inevitable. Ah well!

    09-08-2005 Goshawk

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-08-10 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Firstly an alternative report from the On-On Sec and the Foot-soldier
    CH3 - MYNYTHO Sub Branch
    An exquisite evening down at Mynytho and the sub-branch team thought that a gentle trot around the undulating countryside was just what was needed to loosen up the 'old' legs after a day on the good ship Tamur. As Mynytho is near the top of the hill we set off in a downward direction heading towards Llanbedrog, then off down the lanes towards the Warren beach.
    Progress along the footpaths was swift as the local council workers had been out and about with their trusty strimmers and all nettles, brambles and gorse have been cleared away. Once sea level had almost been reached the path veared back uphill again and Mynytho Common (Fron Gron) hove into view. Well worth the haul to the top with views all round from Holyhead, Hells Mouth and on round to Snowdon - looking magnificent in the evening sunshine.
    A gentle pace back down the hill to home and a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the 'Foot-soldier's Birthday

    And also...

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-08-10 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The other Hash from Me
    The trail tonight was from the unusual hare combination of Uncle Albert with Jean.(not Hair Combinations though)
    This was laid from the car park of Mouldsworth Railway station as David felt that we might be drinking other than at the Goshawk:- due to the fact that the pub is posh and the beer has got a little more expensive. So with a great deal of organisation ;;; we drank in the Goshawk.

    The evening was initially threatening rain but the gloom lifted and we did not after all need to carry torches.The start however was very prompt. The diminished Lymm bus just turning into the car park as the hash set off. The bod struggled with the uphill start but fortunately there were a few close check to allow it to get working:- especially as the jet lag was still kicking in.

    The trail was varied with close loops without getting too far from the pub. Jean tracking the front and David L sweeping up at the back. i was now getting onto it , even managing to get some checks right and was a little ahead of the pack on sevaral occasions.However when we passed the walkers I was a fair bit off the back having got it quite wrong.But as we turned back to Mouldworth there was a slight mix up from the hares.We were approaching the last possible turn off before the pub and the call back from the right by one of the hares led to a gallop down the road.
    The other arrived and said :- Where are they going? and called all back to take in the final loop.I have to admit the call of the pub was louder and I continued on-in while the others looped

    On the whole a good trail

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-08-10 13:00:02
  • Detail :-

    And Allan
    'Why are you driving so slowly?' asked Tony Ellis.'Well, no point in being there too soon!' says I, as we ambled at 50 down the Northwich bypass.'But I need my socialising time before we start running, so get moving!'

    He's DEFINITELY feeling better is my podiatrist friend! So, right foot down, so the lad can have a quick circulate before Dave Lever and Jean introduce us to the delights they have planned for us, from the enormous car park at Mouldsworth Railway Station. Lots of checks were promised, and I admit delivered. Except for the last mile and a smidge, where only 3 possible gasp relievers were available.

    This was one of those trails that Lynn Craig loves, and most of the rest of us hate. One with horses everywhere. I'm quite happy about the money gobbling beasts when they're safely locked away in a loose box, but when I have to run through a field where they are loose, well that's when my heart rate rises as my pace falls! I'll never forget an early Sussex Vale Hash through a paddock with 3 thoroughbred racehorses, who were inspired to some early evening sprint training by our little Hashing group! Their owner was most disparaging about the situation!
    Anyway, no harm done this time, except that Roger Turner and I then both attracted the interest of a rather smaller animal. The local teenage bee! Whilst, disentangling the little b... ... ... . from my sock, and his jaws from my ankle, Paul Jackson sailed past and called out 5!' To any of you who have wondered why Paul and I occasionally call out a number whilst we are panting around, we have been playing a silly game over the last few months, recording how many times he passes me on a Hash. A few weeks ago, he set a new record of 8! I'm not quite sure what this is telling us, other than he is bloody quick and I'm old. It probably also means one of us is probably navigationally challenged, but which... ... ... ..?
    We thought eventually, on a many checked trail, he'd probably manage to lap me 10 times. Tonight, he did it 13 times! 13 for God' s sake! Oh, and that's not counting a check towards the end, where I was waiting for the ON ON, when Paul arrived and performed 3 or 4 twirls round me as though we were barn dancing!

    2 checks later there was a scintilla of cartographic confusion from the trail layers. Their plan seemed to be to lure us all back to within 250 yards of the cars, before turning sharply away from safety to perform the last lung bursting loop. The bulk of the pack were inadvertently led to within 100 yards of home, before corrective action was implemented! Unfortunately, I was at the back and nearer 1000 yards from base rather than 100, and was firmly told I could NOT take advantage of the obvious short cut. Apparently, I am supposed to set an example to the rest of the Hash.
    I'm sure I do that anyway, but perhaps not in the way implied at that moment by Mr Lever!

    02-08-2005 Bay Malton

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-08-03 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    A late report from Allan as I was away -
    Bay Malton, Altrincham - 02.08.05
    T'was a dank pitch dark moonless night on Black Moss, and the wind howled from the east, and... .. ... ..oh, sorry, that was the last time we ran from the Bay Malton! That was January 2004, and the black night produced white snow half way round. The industrial drinkers who only went home as the bell tolled, found 2 inches of the white stuff glued to the road, which meant negotiating the narrowest canal bridge in Christendom became an exciting' experience.

    One of the weather dollies promised this evening to be dry and bright, and it wasn't!! Heavy grey stuff piled up, and a couple of flurries of rain appeared. But, it turned out to be like my running efforts, rather half hearted. Allisdhair McNaul was tonight's guide across the prairies west of Altrincham. A good-sized walking party had Tony Higgins at the tiller, so no chance of any lost souls there then. As usual, there were a couple or three late arrivals at Allisdhair's ball, but they rapidly caught up along the long dead railway line to Warrington.

    What would happen if we ever actually started at 19.45? The trail layer would probably be able to count his flock on the fingers of one hand! As it was, this flock eventually totalled 51, including canines, walkers, and Millie, the Underhill's blind pooch, whose 99th appearance this was! An engraved dog bowl awaits. When is a tricky question, as Millie's guide human Eleanor, managed to give her ankle a mighty wrench, and is likely to be shackled to daytime TV for a week or three. Inevitably, the twist occurred about as far from the boozer as possible, although a straight line hobble home was possible down the canal tow path.

    At the end 51 ticks went into the book'. A record equalling total. Allisdhair, you done good to get this lot home safe. Eleanor excepted of course.

    26-07-2005 Spring Garden

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-07-27 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    I am away but Allan has done the honours again.
    Spring Gardens, Marple Bridge - 26.07.05
    I suspect two new records relating to one of Hashing's most common maladies were set tonight. The possibility of navigational dysfunction is always present on a Tuesday night, and tonight we had two exceptionally high quality examples.Just before the off from the Spring Gardens, I was standing on the road looking for stragglers, as the pub car park isn't easy to spot. Roger T arrived in a cloud of tyre smoke, but there was no sign of John Seymour who I knew was coming having seen him turn into my estate just as I was leaving. Through a long complicated series of phone calls relating to who drove who etc, that are far too tedious to relate, instead of being a passenger in my motor, John had offered to drive Paul Jackson.

    I guess this was an excuse to exercise his Beemer Coupe on a beautiful evening. Eventually, Karen our pilot for the evening decided we were quorate, and an assault on her undulating trail could no longer be postponed. The trail turned out to be small but perfectly formed.

    Lots of checks and a shortage of fast men who were either away or late(!), meant no-one was ever very far from the front. A fact proved by Dave Lever who proceeded to get more checks wrong in one trail than anyone can ever remember. Karen said to me half way round, Is he doing it deliberately?' Three checks later Dave said to me, Is she sending me the wrong way deliberately?' And still he managed to run to the front and get them wrong. And all with such good humour. I think he managed to get about 15 wrong, out of a trail with around 25 checks. A medal should be awarded for the enthusiasm shown in continually getting to a position where he could check, and perhaps taken away again for not taking advantage of the hard won opportunities.
    But at least he gave a demonstration of precisely what Hashing is all about - if at first you don't succeed... .be first in the pub!

    Towards the end of the trail, Dave Taylor found the pack. As usual, he'd come straight from work, but Marple is a long way from Stoke. A moment later, there were Paul and John. Their late arrival was due to John not finding Paul's house! The two hadn't travelled together before, and John was possibly confused by the rats nest of cul de sacs that form the Sunley Estate in Knutsford. Eventually John decided to ring Paul. But, found he'd left his phone at home. So, it was back to the ranch and start again. He then discovered he' d driven past Paul's front door three times, whilst Paul was patiently wearing out his settee.A medal for both of them for their patience and good humour whilst dealing with the inevitable leg pulling they endured. In the midst of all this an excellent trail was produced, and some food after made for an first class evening.

    19-07-2005 Cheshire Cheese

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-07-20 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan has provided a commentary
    Cheshire Cheese, Frodsham - 19.07.05

    When Roger Turner announced in the car park before releasing the pack, that his and Dave Arthur's trail, consisted of 6 miles and 28 checks, there was a spontaneous round of applause! I cannot ever remember such a display of emotion before the start. I suspect it wasn't to clap the distance (turned out to be at least 6 miles), but more to the abundance of checks! Roger rightly or wrongly has acquired a reputation for being a little scrooge like in that department. But it makes no difference to the attendance, as his last 3 trails have averaged 43 souls prepared to brave the evening!!

    I believe Roger choose the Cheshire Cheese as it has a once a month meeting of the local Riley Society. For those under 45, Riley used to make cars in the days when car making in the UK, was not solely restricted to foreign owned factories. Roger has acquired an old Riley, and hoped to have a nostalgic evening viewing similar local motors over a pint of whatever seemed appropriate. Unfortunately, whilst there were a few Riley owners in the pub, they hadn't brought their wheels. Roger's Riley sat in lonely solitary splendour in the car park.Inevitably, the trail took the pack up to the top of Frodsham Hill! The tightly packed contour lines proving irresistible to our medical guides. However, they did find some countryside that was knew to me, including some sizeable caves close to the golf course, and a looooonnnnnnggggggggg run along the side of the Weaver Navigation.

    Despite the good weather, we didn't have any significant walking contingent. It's those contour lines!In the pub, the landlady seemed to have modelled her people skills on those of the long deceased actress Peggy Mount! For those under 45, ... ..oh, never mind! Suffice to say, she was completely dismissive of Mr Ellis's suggestion, that as there were nearly 40 thirsty Hashers engaging in some unexpected close quarter combat in her tiny bar, that she round down the price of her pints by 10p to a round £2.
    Her speed of service was glacial, and her attitude no more warming. To my admittedly untutored entrepreneurial eye, I would have thought 40 odd bodies arriving by prior arrangement on a very quiet night would be worth at least a bit of a smile.
    I think Roger's lonely Riley was in the best place.

    12-07-2005 Rob's House

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-07-13 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Tonight was from Rob's place with one of his map reading team trials with BBQ. This was won by many teams in various age groups helped by the additional scoring opportunities provided by collecting Beer Mats.

    It could almost have been won by a pub visiting team but for the fact that a lot of the Knutsford pubs no longer seem to have beer mats so a degree of map reading and running/walking skills were called into play.

    Unfortunately not for the Vets team with local knowledge. They got no points and arrived back late to get time penalties and register a notable -35 on the point scale. The highest scorers were with the on-on secs team who amassed the most beer mats and also had local knowledge but found the map points.
    It was however a good evening and much fun was had by all

    And also...

  • Report by :- Peter R on 2005-07-13 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    A Report from Peter Rose
    Rob's Barbecue and Trail 12/7/05 Thanks a lot to Rob and co for a very successful bar barbeque and trail. As member of the booby team I thought that it would be useful to analyse where we went wrong.

    Now the first mistake I made was to refuse Tony E's generous offer to join him and Pam. This was a bad mistake as they won and also they run at my rate. The team I joined was Colin, Peter and Brooke who are all much quicker than me. By the second check I was already a quarter of a mile behind and so we decided that I should short cut and meet them at the broken style at the exit of Toft wood. This failed for two reasons. I couldn't find it without the map, and they couldn't find it with the map.
    Three learning points about maps
    1. have one
    2. have one that is preferably not a black and white copy of an out of date map
    3. know where you are on the ground before trying to work out if the black and white local boundary is or is not a footpath.
    I saw them running along a field of maize, but I was on the other side and it was not easy to cross. We eventually regrouped and decided that I would again short cut going back by the broken style (Answer to question is 28) and then meet them at the check at Booths Hall (Q).

    They meanwhile would go via another short cut to The Dun Cow. Now as I was running towards the roundabout at the entrance to Booths Hall I thought that they should be approaching from the other direction. I did see one runner but it was not one of my group. When I did get to the entrance I did see two security guards the bigger one of whom was carrying a truncheon.Actually it was a long torch but looked as though it could in extremis be used as a truncheon.

    Me 'Have you seen any runners?'

    Them (big one with truncheon) 'No this is private property'

    I explained what we were about and that my next check was the hall (I had thought this was true from a brief look at the map). This made them even more resolute that the Hall was private and I backed down saying that I hadn't got the map, but that there was a path down here to the farm. 'Oh no there isn't' said (BOWT). 'Oh yes there is' said I dressed only in very thin running shorts with no big torch.Suddenly BOWT said out of the blue 'Is it a sandwich box?' 'I don't know' says I as I haven't got the question but it could be true.So I thought this is good I now have 28 and sandwich box as answers to Rob's questions.

    Discretion being the better part of valour I said that I would wait for my friends at the main road, which I did. However by now nearly half of the allotted time had gone. No sign of Colin, Peter or Brooke. Without a map, I had no idea where to go to next. What if I had misread map and the Q check was actually nearer to the Dun Cow that I had thought?
    I decided that they must be waiting for me at this other Q so I had better run to Dun Cow and wait for them.Of course no sign of them there but I did cover Dun Cow as well (well nearly). I then bumped into the walkers and super vets and confirmed that Q was the Booths Hall Farm.It was now so late that I had to abandon rendezvousing with my group and hope that I could make it back to Rob's by quarter past.

    Principle of these events is always get back in time. I was in fact one of the first back but had nowhere to record my findings. After a short wait when most teams were back I decided to go home and get a shower. I think by the time that I returned the last of our group had just got in and changed.Now I understand from talking to the three survivors that they went nearly into Mobberley before they got back to Booths farm. Having only passed two pubs at the most and incurring lots of penalty points we finished up with -9.5 points. But as Brooke said he didn't come to win and anyway he had never managed to be back on time for any of these sort of events (memo to self don't join a team with Brooke in, no competitive spirit and can't tell the time - no offensive Brooke I think you have the right laid back attitude).

    Now Colin, our leader, did a magnificent job with a map he couldn't read. And I am not blaming Rob for the fact that Colin can't read a map. And I won't have a word said against Colin particularly as I only ran a normal hash of .5 miles. It is said that Colin typified true leadership. His men (the two left) followed him wherever he led more out of curiosity of where he would lead them to, than a sense of loyalty - and anyway he was the only one to have any sort of map. With this map he could declare with authority as they ran though a potato field that the path must have been moved as there was no sign of it.Well done chaps and a good time was had by all.

    Next year I will join the super vets even if I am not old enough yet.

    05-07-2005 Community Centre

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-07-06 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan has kindly put together a report of my trail from the Grappenhall ClubGrappenhall Community Hall - 05.07.05
    At last weeks Hash, the clouds gathered as the pack gathered, they glowered at us but then let us off. Clearly, realising their mistake, this week they didn't bother with any of that frowning behaviour, and hosed the whole of Cheshire all Tuesday afternoon. At 6 p.m. I was weakening, and preparing my excuses, when the deluge eased, and a glimmer of light appeared over the hotel that one of our neighbours swears is only a modest' extension.
    So, much burrowing in the bottom of the wardrobe for my lightweight rain gear produced precisely nothing. Much brow furrowing produced the thought that maybe I hadn't unloaded said gear from my saddlebag, following the weekends pedalling extravaganza. Bingo! Inevitably, after all this routing around for the watery insulation was as good a guarantee as possible that the waterproofs wouldn't be needed. In the Club car park, the clouds had gone all fluffy, and were even allowing the sun the odd bit of elbow room.

    So Max, tonight's navigator, was able to launch us through the path at the back of the car park, with one or two complaining the sun was in their eyes!
    I'd wondered what sort of a trail Max had in mind as this was the 4th time he's used the Hall. I run out of originality after 2 trails from the same place.
    To my complete surprise and delight he produced an excellent and original event. Off into the back streets of Warrington we went, and across Latchford Locks over the Manchester Shit Canal.A swift right turn and we were heading for the M6 at Thelwall.
    Now in the early years of Mrs Thatchers reign, we once had a trail laid from the Little Manor in Thelwall, which finished (for most of the Hash), with a ferry trip back across the Canal! Ah, the nostalgia. But tonight, despite twice taking us to view the possible transport, there was no one to pay the ferryman!

    So we had to settle for a complex, double backing trail, which on subsequently viewing an OS map, showed was laid across an area known as The Eyes. It's squashed between an Industrial Estate, the River Mersey and the Canal. On the map it is blank! No features aside from one circular 15 metre contour. On the ground, it's a mass of paths, banks, young trees and pools. If you could ignore the pylons on the distant horizon, one of the pools I found whilst checking (wrongly), could have been at Slimbridge. It had some overhanging silver birch, reeds, coots, mallards and a family of swans the largest of which told me to push off.I didn't know they knew such language.Warrington reality returned as we made our way back to tarmac, past signs that read Danger - Hogweed, keep to the path!' and at one stage we were hotly pursued by a very loud Alsatian, whose size 22 owner between wheezing gasps, was croaking something like Muffy Muffy, come here!' Muffy was last seen at Warp 6 heading for home, after Mr Burgess persuaded it that chasing after him wasn't prudent.

    When the tarmac finally returned, a tightening calf muscle, and a recalcitrant body that was reminding me of the weekends pedalling efforts, meant a management decision was made to walk home! Inevitably, I crossed the pack's trail twice, and on the last occasion inadvertently found an On On!
    Ah, more nostalgia! Back in the bar, the beer was cheap, and the barmaid supremely speedy. Martin was most impressed by her ability to pull 2 pints at once. And at the end of the evening, a small surplus was made.The absent On Sec would be proud of us.

    28-06-2005 Forresters Arms

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-06-29 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan's report of Foresters Arms, Romiley - 28.06.05 2005 -
    Occasionally the Hash runs from pubs of the same name on consecutive weeks. In 2002, we ran consecutively from 3 different Red Lions. Now we have a pair of Foresters Arms, which must be a much more unusual event, bearing in mind the way Red Lions have bred across the land.

    There was nothing in common between these two Foresters runs, except for the name, as we returned to our recently acquired mountaineering habit, this time around Werneth Low. Also, the run from the Winterley Forester was blessed with that rare summer vagrant, namely a beautiful evening. At Romiley the clouds gathered as we gathered, and the odds on a dry run were as long as Bangladesh beating Australia.

    As the evening progressed the clouds became darker, but no rain! Perhaps Bangladesh really did win! Clive had laid a 5 mile trail, and managed to very smartly have the pack back in the pub car park just before 9, despite the close packed brown lines! I had opted to walk, bearing in mind forthcoming cycling extravaganzas, and had the two Tones for company, plus Maggie and Lori.

    Our plan to return to base by 9.05 worked to within 2 minutes. However, with the runners getting back home early, 2 of my passengers, namely the On Sec and her Foot Soldier were rapidly cooling in the car park, as I had my car keys on me. Severe looks were given!

    The pub was full even before we all crammed in. To John Seymour' s complete surprise, Pam managed to find enough space to produce a 60th birthday cake for him. She does cook very hard for the Hash! As seems to be customary with the Hash, the female shaped cake was rapidly sliced to pieces, and greedy runners troughed away.
    There were some remnants after this gorging and John happily went home with enough calories to save him breakfast, lunch and dinner for a good 3 days! And somehow, there was a small kitty surplus!

    21-06-2005 Foresters Arms

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-06-22 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Not only the longest day but also a full moon for Nick and Heathers trail down at Winterley near Sandbach.
    The weather was immaculate, warm sunny and dry as we arrived at the Foresters Arms in this small Cheshire village. There were 41 hashers of the running/walking version and 3 dogs and we got away in our usual organised disarray.

    Heather and Nick soon had us tending to the field routes but for the first few checks they kept us on the road. This was almost as much road as we saw all evening as from then on it was mostly field. Fields of Barley, Wheat, Corn, Bullocks, Lots of calves and one with two bulls. Fortunately these last two could be avoided down the other side of a hedge.
    The pack moved at a reasonable pace but not too quick for the back markers and so we turned back into the pub carpark at about 9:15. I made a point of suggesting that the barmaid started pulling the first 20 pint and when we went in 10 minutes later she was standing slightly worried in case we had done a swift runner..No worries as we got stuck in to them as we stood out in the fine evening.

    Excellent trail on paths I don't recall doing before.

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-06-22 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan's observations - Foresters Arms, Winterley - 21.06.05
    As we drove south on midsummer's day I was inwardly smiling at the delights to come of the fenland of South Cheshire, after 3 consecutive Alpine Hashes on the western and eastern borders of the homeland. The On Sec with her trusty Foot Soldier were in charge. So plenty of experience, if not a lot of sympathy there then!

    45 started, but for once 2 fell out before the first stile, when Derek Clark found his canine colleague Meg went lame. At the time of writing I have no info on her condition, so can only hope all is well.Nick had warned of a Friesian bull loose in a field, when he gave his instructions before the off. As I lay doubled up and panting over the gate leading to the pub playground at the finish, I wondered if my sight was now declining like the rest of me, as I had seen no sign of said animal. Turned out, that its owner had banged up the temperamental bovine beast. I was happily engaged in a short cut gamble of my own at the time, so missed this particular farm altogether.Fortunately, the gamble paid off and for 3 checks I was for once the front-runner.

    It didn't take long for Mr Hack and Kev to whiz by, and thereafter the anonymity of the middle of the pack beckoned, on this wonderfully flat trail.The weather was equally glorious, but the flat lands encouraged some high speed out of the pack, although nothing like the pace of the traffic on the bypass.
    The On Sec had written multiple chalk warnings on the stile where the path crossed the road. She was so anxious to make sure no nasties occurred, she managed to trip over the steps leading down to the racetrack, and only a speedy intervention by Martin's meaty forearm prevented potential disaster.

    At the back of the pack, Peter Rose crossed the bypass to be greeted by Plod! A police cruiser had seen us running across the bypass, and told Peter they thought some young kids were playing a game of chicken with the traffic! As a pensioner without any blemish on his character, Peter was absolutely delighted that the authorities should think he was a teenage tearaway! What his wife will think is another matter. Best not tell her.
    Anyway, another good trail, with excellent Tetley's available at the end. And despite all my moaning, I've really enjoyed the 'variety' of trails served up for our delectation over the last few weeks.

    14-06-2005 Bickerton Poacher

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-06-15 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The Lymm bus driven this week by Brooke made the almost unprecedented start to tonights trail from the Bickerton Poacher by arriving almost 10 minutes before official set off time.That makes almost 15 minutes in real time.
    We even had time to stretch , warm up, chat and cool down again before the lead David (T) took us for an amble up a lane for about half a mile.
    At this point he called '4ways' and I immediately took the least promising route. There was a reason it was least promising. It was that the trail went into the woods instead. So, wrong again, at the back again, No change there.
    There was a goodly turnout, no docs and until part way round no Vets as Bridget arrived a little late (Not surprising as she must have had almost the furthest distance to travel. Possibly Daniel was further)

    The trail used very little road and teased us around a big hill for most of the hash, with a diversion through a field with cattle with large horns, before taking us ,willy-nilly to the top and then down again.The weather was excellent, clear sky, which considering it had been quite chilly and sodden all day was a Tuesday triumph.

    An excellent trail, good beer, unfortunately only one person was on the bar so things were a little slow.

    07-06-2005 Ship

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-06-08 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan has produced a splendid summation of the joys of vertical hashing and how to breathe through anything available as the mouth and nose are insufficient.

    Ship Inn, Wincle - 07.06.05
    The reader of last weeks report may recall my query as to which nearby hill the trail layer would attack. An assault on the Cloud was successfully mounted, with the odd hiccup. At the time, I hadn't given any thought to the following week, other than to think, 'God, the Ship is an even longer drive!' The fundamental point I'd been mentally blocking out was the fact that the location of the Ship gives trail layers even more scope for altitude training. In fact, it's impossible not to have significant 'UPS' in any trail from this boozer.

    Kevan and Eleanor had clearly decided to maximise the vertical opportunities available! Spectacular views were promised. 41 of us set off Uphill, NOT stopping at 2 available footpaths within 100 yards of the pub! Why?
    This is an area I don't know and after 2 checks (and 15 minutes), my internal GPS system crashed, so I'd have to keep up, or risk not finding the pub. The only significant geographical fact that was obvious was the UP!

    I jokingly said to Dave Lever as we struggled UP over another false crest, 'There really will be a good view if we end UP UP there!' pointing UP to the Gritstone Trail on Bosley Ridge about a mile away! Little did we know!
    10 minutes later, Kevan greets me at a stile that unusually led on to tarmac. 'Can you tell those at the back, that if they don't want to bother with the view, to stay here, and the rest of us will be back in 5 minutes?' I thought where was Eleanor? She should be keeping her eye on those at the back. Anyway, the pack was now extended over about 2 counties, so I asked people behind to pass the message back down the line as they came UP to the stile. I was going to try and keep UP, and a view would be a bonus.

    Trying not to break the habit of this Hash, the trail continued UP. Eventually, the trail levelled out, turned left, and a wonderful view presented itself to the west across the Cheshire Plain. Except of course, the sun is now setting, and gazing over the plain is virtually impossible without a pair of Alpine Raybans.The trail now wanders gently downhill along a grass track. The Hasher in front is now 200 yards away, and getting smaller by the stride. The one in front of the one in front is out of sight. Inevitably, this now unmarshalled straggly band of pilgrims eventually ground to a halt at a bog, and a stile decorated with barbed wire, and a 5-foot drop over a patch of nettles.

    John Seymour risked the drop, and I followed. From the other side, it was obvious that we were meant to use a de-militarised stile about 25 yards higher up the hill. Progress was resumed, and after about 15 minutes, we returned to the stile Kevan earlier had said we'd comeback to after 5 minutes. If you follow my meaning. Eleanor was waiting to gather us UP, and guide us. ... ... ... ... back UP the hill we'd used 15 minutes earlier chasing the blinding spectacular view. Oh joy.

    So now we are running UP and along the ridge of the Gritstone Trail Mr Lever and I had been discussing earlier. Looking south, we found ourselves looking down on the summit of The Cloud, we'd conquered last week!Now all UPs must eventually go down, and with the odd steep exception, the trail trundled downhill through mud, rocks, lanes and fields, until eventually Macadam's finest was re-discovered.
    But only for the 6-foot width of this particular lane, before a further plunge through more stingers took across a dry field, over a wall, when Kev then called 'On On' home. This turned out to be nearly a one-mile non-stop downhill run in. Apparently, this wasn't meant to be the run in, but with night falling Kevan had decided to end the torture, and allow his prisoners a break for the freedom of the lounge bar, and beer at £2.20 a night!
    We really must try and find some Sam Smiths/Hydes/Holts pubs to bother. A number of Hashers grabbed their pints and descended on the beer garden, as it was such a pleasant evening. 5 minutes later, they're all back in the back bar! A problem with the microscopic flying and biting wild life apparently. And most importantly tonight, all were safely gathered in!

    31-05-2005 Harrington Arms

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-06-01 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The weather tonight was excellent.

    It had been a fine May Bank holiday weekend ( almost an oxymoron ) and it had spilled over into the Tuesday but with a little coolness. John S and Ross set the trail from the other Harrington Arms, at Bosley down through Congleton and on the Leek Road.
    A goodly turnout appeared with only the one canine, Millie, who was as excited as ever to get under way. The trail got off with the expectation that we would at some point approach the 'Cloud', a steepish promontory. This expectation was not disappointed.

    Away we went down the road and at the second check we turned into a small path that ran by the churchyard and then fell away rapidly leading into a field with a lot of heifers. The next check being at a railway bridge at the back of a works.Not unusually the next few checks took us up roads to regain the height we has lost. A few check later this was augmented by the climb up through the bracken up the side of Bosley Cloud.
    A brief muster was held at the top to allow all to see the surrounding countryside in bright sunshine before we descended almost the same way we climbed. In the process of this I slipped and the tiring sole of my running shoe gave up the ghost and parted company with the uppers.
    I parted company with the pack, which had suddenly got strung out, at this point and short cutted back to the hostelry at an amble, meeting the walkers, Tony E, Tony H and Helen J in the process.

    I arrived back at 9:07 and the rest of the pack, or so I thought, ran in at 9:17,I qualified this as two of the newer hashers, Carol and Caroline, who had been seen going up the Cloud as others came down but were determined to get to the top, rolled into the pub at just after 10:00. A record for any hare...
    They were quite pleased at completing the trail (fortunately the hare had issued them with a map in passing) and El Presidente insisted that they have their drinks from the residue of the kitty without contribution.
    Memorable stuff.

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-06-04 13:00:00
  • Detail :-

    A Report from Allan
    How odd to be at a Harrington Arms and not be in Gawsworth.

    John Seymour had chosen the venue for his first attempt at total control of a Hash. He got a beautiful evening, 35 Hashers, and produced a possibly memorable trail.The area round Bosley is not blessed with multiple footpaths, but it is looked down on by The Cloud in the west, and Sutton Common to the east. The Cloud is 343 metres high, the Common 402!! Which one would he be unable to resist. Fortunately, or so it seemed at first he seemed to opt for the Cloud!

    Despite my promise to myself to be kind to my decrepit frame, I couldn't resist taking the most direct route towards the Cloud at every check. Inevitably, I was eventually wrong when everyone else was right, so I was second last climbing up the north face of the Cloud itself. No chance of running here, it had to be one foot driving down hard to lift the 12 stones odd vertically upwards. The front of the thighs on the subsequent Thursday and Friday were unprintably painful!

    Having struggled up, the view was worth it. 360 degrees of clear air to the horizon. The route down started the same way as the route up! As the pack went down, Carol and Caroline were coming up. I heard one say, 'Yes, we must go to the top, the view's great and you haven't seen it!' and up they struggled. I'll come back to these two later. Inevitably, Mr Hack powered the pack down off the hill, and led a breakaway group through about 5 checks with unerring accuracy! Struggling along behind these fit b......s, a nice young man with a map(!), made sure I didn't go AWOL.

    Enquiries revealed it was his first run, being a friend of Mr Seymour's from skiing, and he was being a trail layer. Can't think that a first timer being a trail layer, has happened before!
    Eventually, the breakaways stalled when markers couldn't be found along the canal. Good job really, as a rest was had, before the 'On On' was eventually called down the towpath, for an interrupted 1-mile gallop! Another bit of muddling at the end of the towpath, allowed a gathering together of most of the disparate parts of the Hash, before a blast through just one patch of DEEP mud. There was only about 15 yards of it, but it was unavoidable, so clean shoes weren't anymore! The last bit of John's trail repeated the first bit, and finally the haven of the bar hove into view.

    A pleasant evening ensued, with beer being a wonderfully simple £2 per night, so no great actuarial skills were required to placate the landlord. As the Harrington Arms is a little remote, quite a few Hashers left fairly early, so when Carol and Caroline appeared in the bar at 22.10, there were only a few witnesses left to confirm a new 'late arrival' record! And achieved in subdued daylight! Apparently, Carol knew Caroline was coming, so waited for her when the pack departed the car park. She had a map, and so navigation to the meeting with the pack just below the summit was no problem. Difficulties apparently appeared when they tried to navigate their way off the top. The map and its paths, didn't appear to match the ground and its paths!
    At one stage they went back to the top to start again! Subsequently it came to light that John was using permissive paths, which didn't show on his OS map. Bearing in mind the invisibility of the path that Martin bludgeoned down off the top of the Cloud, it is no surprise they had a bit of trouble.Sufficient funds were available in the kitty to enable the two ladies to have a drink without reaching for their handbags.

    And so to close a somewhat memorable evening, Caroline announced she wouldn't have a second drink, as she had quite a drive home. Home it appears is Nantwich! Not perhaps all that far from Bosley, but with Congleton, Sandbach and Crewe in the way, it's not a speedy journey. Ian Blakeborough made his first appearance of 2005 , following trouble with his needs. He lives near Wrexham! I think tents may be needed for overnight camping at the next Hash venue at Wincle.

    24-05-2005 Crown

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-06-02 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    23rd Anniversary Run - Crown, Lower Peover, 24.05.05 Allan Does the Honours -
    I find it hard to comprehend that my fellow Cheshire Hashers and I, have been taking our clothes off in public house car parks for 23 years. I remember nights when it was so hot, you didn't want to put your fresh clothes back on. I also remember a night so cold, 4 of us opted to get completely changed whilst inside Richard Caulfield's Metro! A level of male bonding never experienced before or since on a Tuesday night!!

    The Crown was (again) the venue for the anniversary run. Last years record number of Hashers was beaten by 1 this year. The total of runners was down, but our new walking party more than made up the numbers. What a good development walkers are, as they open up the benefits of drinking, sorry, hashing, to people who may not be able to run 5 or 6 miles.
    It also means runners who are recovering from the twists and pulls of trying to flog their aged bodies too hashing hard, can gently reintroduce their flesh to Tuesday nights, and earn a tick even if they can't run. They can of course drink as well! The evening got of to a somewhat anxious start, as I had forgotten to bring the maps!

    As I write (the following Monday), they're still AWOL. I've clearly put them somewhere safe! Anyway, orders had to be taken for the food, and eventually the pack departed. To add a little novelty to this trail, the plan was to go through one check 4 times, without me as the trail layer having to scurry about relaying markers. It is not an original ploy, as an ex Cheshire Hasher called Rob Higgons (no relation to our current Higgins), perfected the technique about 20 years ago. Fortunately, I have Rob's current E Mail address, and his memory was quite sufficient for instructions to be given and received.
    The trick clearly worked, as the fast runners were complaining of being giddy after ¾ of an hour! Dave Arthur jumped from one loop to another early on, and could only just be restrained by vigorous verbal command! He then spent the rest of the Hash trying to get back to the bit of trail he'd discovered earlier. The problem being he'd only gone through the 4 times check once, and we weren't to reach the bit of trail he discovered, until after the 4th passage through this check. So he was as confused as my explanation has just been.

    In the pub afterwards, pints were all ready on the bar as the pack arrived. The landlady had taken her instructions about only providing 2 drinks per Hasher a bit seriously, in that she refused to serve anything other than pints. Simon Wright had to drag me from my (excellent) chicken something up to the bar, to me to confirm to the bar staff, that he was an OK guy to supply lemonade to. To commemorate this anniversary, I'd prepared certificates confirming the physical endurance and skills of current Hashers. Well, they got a bit of paper saying how often they'd run, laid trails etc.

    Inevitably there were complaints that the records were wrong! What's actually wrong is my typing! Mark you, Derek Clark probably had a valid point when he pointed out that the paperwork showed that his dog Meg had run more often than he had! Someone queried how they could have set a trail 18 months before they started running. The On Sec was particularly put out, that my finger trouble had expunged 2 and ½ years of her running activities. 708 runs were recorded on her certificate NOT the correct 808.I don't think I'll bother with all this typing again. It b@@@@@s up my arthritic fingers

    17-05-2005 Bulls Head

  • Report by :- David L on 2005-05-18 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    A report from Dolores the Brazen Hussey (David L)- I was not present as I have pulled a neck muscle and a leg one. How lucky can I get!!

    Bulls Head, Kerridge, Bollington
    We met at the Public car park in Kerridge about 100 yards down hill from the Bulls Head. It was the Bollington Festival, and as part of the festivities, Daniel and Andy arranged for the hash to be a Red Dress Hash. Most of the Hashers entered into the spirit of it - wearing their best red frocks. In fact some of the guys seemed to be wearing their dresses with a little too much enthusiasm for my liking!!
    There was quite a variety - guys in sexy, skimpy red frocks and others in more matronly outfits; many were wearing wigs in various colours (but none matched the wig sported by Bridget) and quite a few added lipstick and make up (some seemed quite experienced at applying it). The girls embraced the idea too - some looking like ladies of the night or schoolgirls - I think quite a number received offers as we ran around and may be back later in the week. I have heard that one or two of the men received offers too.Many decided to change in the car park before the Hash rather than drive from home dressed that way - you never know, you might get stopped by the police and then what do you say?
    The other worry is that it was a joke ... ... and you're the only bloke in a dress.

    At the start, Daniel claimed that it was 5½ miles run - I know I'm a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, BUT he has always under estimated the distance and tonight was no exception. He also managed to arrange for most of the run to be uphill - how is that possible when we finished where we started - I don't know, but that's what we all experienced.

    In the early stages, we had to run the gauntlet of quite a crowd of youngsters who seemed amazed by the sight of hairy, middle aged men jogging purposefully around dressed as transvestites - some looking like Kenny Everett, others like the boy-girls of Bangkok and everything in between. In the later stages we ran in less crowded areas, but we did cause some consternation to normal folk out for a gentle evening stroll.

    At one point we reached a park area where there was a huge marquee with a concert taking place inside. It seemed as though we were going to have to run inside as part of the show and it was a relief to find that we ran past although the shock on the faces of the stewards was something to behold. We all ran in perfect time to the music which reached a climax as we ran past. I'm sure that there are numerous personal experiences to tell but I'm equally sure that many will never be told. I was suffering problems throughout the run as my bra strap kept slipping down and the buttons on my dress kept popping open to reveal my cleavage and I've decided that next time (if there is a next time) I'm going to get myself a dress that is easier to run in. I actually lost some of my cleavage as we ran around - a hanky fell out of my bra.

    The run went onward and upward and eventually we found ourselves at White Nancy where refreshments were provided before we took the short but steep descent back to Kerridge. We didn't stop long at White Nancy - it was quite late and getting very, very cold - our dresses were freezing to our backs.Then back to the Bulls Head where we enjoyed a drink or two
    A lot of fun - thank you Daniel and Andy.

    03-05-2005 Greyhound

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-05-04 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The report is proffered by Allan JThe Greyhound - Ashley - 03.05.05. After last weeks quintuple anniversary extravaganza, there were no records set at the Greyhound. Except, it was Martin Burke and Nikki Ingram's virgin trail laying exercise, helped by the highly experienced Jean, whose fourth attempt at guidance this was.
    It would have been Maggie Richens 250th, except she was poorly sick.It was quiz night in the pub, so the landlord asked our intrepid troika to arrange the run from the nearby primary school car park. Perhaps he felt we needed educating. Martin gave the pre flight briefing mentioning 19 checks, and in view of last week's lack of distance, this week would be in excess of 6 miles!

    Much muttering in the ranks.39 souls set off on what turned out to be a fast, but occasionally very deep and slithery Hash. So Mr Hack was in his element, which coupled with the fact he wasn't driving made for his perfect evening! For the second week in a row the pack regularly kept finding the tissue, hence the speed! Martin Burke had given a warning about horses on the trail, which always worries the more long serving Hashers, but when we got to said animals, young Lynn who loves horses, had to be prised off the neck of some very placid grey equine muttering, 'You're just my old Blackie!' Her husband splattered past without even glancing at her. Perhaps Ken isn't a horsey person.

    Anyway, the rest of the trail passed off with only the odd slither and slide. Except for your scribe's navigational dysfunction at the end, where I was so keen to leave the morass of the Bollin Valley, I completely forgot you could turn right as well as left, once the safety of the south bank had been reached. A modest extra few hundred yards had to be run, but the last 50 yards onto the road, were much worse than anything waded through earlier. I'll never learn.

    The quiz in the pub was masterminded by a lady walking from one part of the bar to another, addressing questions to each individual table in turn. Quite unlike the 120-decibel public address system used by the Legh Arms in Knutsford for their Thursday night quiz. On nights with a southerly breeze, you can answer the questions if you're in the Builders up the road!

    We didn't seem to interfere with the intellectual challenge too much, having been banished to one end of the pub. Beer was £2.25 per pint. We really must frequent the Sam Smiths and Hyde's pubs more often. Perhaps some research trips could be undertaken?

    26-04-2005 Carriers

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-04-27 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Well. It was a night of rounded numbers tonight..
    It was the 1200th trail and Nick completed 1000 runs with CH3. Phenomenal performance as he started in late 1982
    In addition it was my 500th,
    David Taylors 300 and
    Uncle Albert (David L) had his 55th birthday.

    It was these last two who were responsible for the trail tonight from the Carriers at Hatchmere. This had been run from quite a few times due to its nearness to Delamere Forest. Tonight there were 36 runner types and 5 walkers and also present were 5 dogs to make up one of our larger packs and they were all rewarded by the fact that the rain had stopped about an hour before and we had clear skies and a lot of light.

    The trail took us briskly out and into wooded landsacape where we ran around for quite a while at what was a fairly brisk pace. We met with the walkers as we approached the back of Hatchmere but continued on at a pace.
    The run in came at about 9:05 and we were changed and into the pub before the rain came back.
    In there was some food laid on and a cake produced by Pam to her usual level of taste and style. If you do'n believe me.. look at the pictures.a good trail and a good evening

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-04-27 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan's Report 1,200th Run - The Carriers, Hatchmere - 26.04.05

    The best time to visit Valencia has to be the end of April. The weather is really warm, but not hot, and the evening temperatures are fine for eating outside! Much better than wading through glutinous muck near Manchester Airport, on a chilly spring Tuesday evening. Yes, the post Marathon Hash was an excellent one to miss!

    On my return from the Iberian idyll, I found an E Mail from the On Sec, saying not only was it the 1,200th regular run, and her foot soldier husband's 1,000th, but there were 3 other 'memorable' events as well! Dave Lever's 55th birthday, Dave Taylor's 300th run and Max's 500th run!
    We go weeks and weeks without anything statistical to record, and now I was going to have to write a speech!

    43 brave souls including the inevitable canines assembled for the equally inevitable team photo. 3 brand new Hashers made their debut - what were they to think of the evening's activities. The Hash was a Lever Taylor Production, and one, which had had a last minute crisis. The 2 Daves had tied their tissue over the weekend, and the birthday boy had pedalled round on Tuesday lunchtime on a final check, to discover the forestry workers had fenced off half his trail!

    Now, I have in the past made fun of Mr Lever's attention to detail with his trail laying, but this time what a bloody good he does!
    He was able to arrange a late Tuesday afternoon diversion, to avoid the new HUGE fences. They were made of linked sections 6 feet high, and 12 feet wide! No chance of a quick leg up and over them. The trail was one of those where the poor little legs never got a rest. But, uniquely this time it was because of the number of checks the front-runners consistently found, rather than a lack of checks!

    The trail was relatively short, which coupled with the speed meant the car park tarmac was kissed before 8.50! Plenty of elbow time then!
    There was a however however! Karen and Jean had left their car keys in the boot of one of the walking party, who not unreasonably were pottering round aiming for a normal post 9 p.m. finish time. So, there were two very rapidly cooling young ladies. Offers to provide them with cuddles for warmth were sternly rejected!! Coats proving a much more acceptable insulator.

    And so into the Carriers. Dave had agreed a £5 a head deal with the landlord for a supply of sandwiches. As the said licensee had done the David Bailey bit before we set off, and then counted the number of hands that went up saying they would be wanting sustenance afterwards, he managed to produce a completely pitifull supply of food! Eventually, a £40 refund was negotiated on the food kitty. £40 for God's sake!! He got this back as a subsidy of that order was required to fund the beer kitty! Apparently, beer was £2.20 per pint. Martin said the first round cost £103!

    Bearing in mind only 38 Hashers went into the pub, that averages £2.71 per pint! Now I know not everyone drinks beer, and that wine and soft drinks are very expensive, but I do wonder whether the landlord felt here was an opportunity for making a bit extra. I shan't be using the Carriers as a base for a Hash in future!

    Anyway, rant now finished, and blood pressure dropping to only stratospheric levels!The assembled band of hungry Hashers were then enlightened as to the athletic feats of their colleagues, and Nick was presented with a tankard and certificate to commemorate his achievement. It's always best to be first at something, as no one else can match or better it.

    Hash records showed Nick started in December 1982, on a Hash where the trail layer didn't turn up! That is an event that has very occasionally happened again, ill health usually being the excuse. However, uniquely on this occasion no prior notice was given, so no Plan B could be applied! Given the inevitable confusion that ensued, I think a 'thank you' to Nick for returning is in order.

    A further descent into the mine of Hash stats showed that since Nick' s retirement, his attendance record has slipped a little, whilst Max has in recent years been going well. He is slowly catching Nick, and an Excel projection showed at the current rate he will catch Nick about Easter in the year 2136. Coincidentally, that will be our 7,000th run.
    By then, all of us will have found out the result of the race to see whether we lose control of our marbles or bowels first! I'm really looking forward to being old!

    19-04-2005 Railway

  • Report by :- David T on 2005-04-20 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    I was a little unwell so the report is kindly provided by David T

    The Railway, Mobberley 19 March 2005 A good trail set and admirably marshalled by Nick and Heather, who was fresh from her annual tilt at the London Marathon and is therefore to be congratulated for even being able to move, let alone make sure that the more navigationally challenged members of the Hash made it back to the pub.
    The trail itself was a generally heavy, field based run, looping slowly north eastwards towards the airport before returning over more fields towards the pub. I was relieved that the authorities had finally got round to putting a footbridge over Sugar Brook as past trails across this area have usually necessitated wading either through the stream or on one occasion the River Bollin.

    Apart from a couple of fields the course was fairly dry and the weather was pretty good too. Congratulations on the marathon front also to Simon Wright, thanks to the trail layers.

    12-04-2005 Fools Nook

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-04-13 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    I am not certain how Daniels trail got underway or even what the first half was like , though reports are that it was quite hilly. The reason for this is that I couldn't find my torch and got off to Martin's a bit late. He was ready but at 7:15 we were always chasing the clock to get to the Fools Nook by 7:45 from Antrobus.

    As it happens we arrived at 8:00 and estimated that they had probably been gone about 5-7 minutes.We investigated the cars and found the maps tucked under a windscreen. It was now a matter of deciding how we could cut them off.. Could we take a fortuitous footpath that removed the first loop.
    Close inspection revealed otherwise. The trail appeared to be going round a big, big hill and the only path that looked close to shortcutting the first part of the trail had contour lines very very close together.This means a lot of up. If we got any where near we would be too creamed to do the rest or the trail

    So it was plan B then.Plan B (tm) involved working our way backwards round the trail, missing out bits, until we got to a good point to wait. This we did.The evening was excellent for trecking about the countryside. Mild air, fairly light, lots of birdsong and very pretty trails to jog along. We eventually came to a point that we guessed would be close and from the sight of markers it looked like Danial had put a few false checks up far drives to slow the pack down,I suggested to Martin that I would expect David Taylor, if present, to pass our locale in about 5 minutes are were we to wait. He answered in the affirmative, but, as it happens my calculations were slightly out as in about 2 minutes we heard the mighty 'on-on' of El Presidente and 20 seconds later David Taylor came running past.At this point we did a surreptitious shuffle into the pack, initially observed only by said El Presidente.

    Later comments from David L and Brian B confirmed that the rest of the pack were also awake.As can be seen from the above the bulk of the rest of the trail was a piece of P to Martin and me before we went onto the bit we had missed. This involved running round a large lake and then on-in down the tow-path.
    Apart from the 2.20 per pint for the beer it had been a good trail and evening.

    05-04-2005 Wheatsheaf

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-04-05 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Roger P, and Simon W set tonights trail from the Wheatsheaf at Agden Brow near Lymm

    29-03-2005 Ring O Bells

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-03-30 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The trail was set on an overcast but mild evening from the Ring o'Bells by our Leader, Allan.
    The clocks had gone forward so until 8:12 (I looked) we did not need a torch. The rest we were in the dark. But that is no change for Mr J's trails.

    He took us out across the fields until we returned to the road we started from but 50m further up at which point we passed the walkers who had set out after us. It was then across the main road and down the hill, and down the hill, and down the hill. We were then on the flat near the back of Daresbury labs and the Bridgewater canal. all of which were not on.

    After a little more road work it was out across some land converted to linear park. These give lots of possibilities for trails and Allan used most of them. After a while we found ourselves on the road and then round to the canal again.
    This was not ignored again and full use was made of the tow path and brought us back to the Labs and home for a run in at 8:57!!! and beer

    22-03-2005 Salt Barge

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-03-23 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Tony Higgins' Birthday trail set by Brian B and Tony H
    Report by Allan
    Tony Higgins 70th Birthday Hash - 22.03.05

    I've not done a Hash Report since Roger's epic introduction to 2005 , involving the possibly mythical planks. I think he exhausted what little creative literary juices I possessed. However, I can't let Mr Higgins's 70th Birthday Hash pass without some comment. He is comfortably the most consistent Hasher, having attended 90.15% of the possible Hashes run since he first started. In addition, he has laid over 100 Hashes, and been solely responsible for the designing and organising of his Wayfaring trails, on the Sunday morning of Hash weekends.The latter activity is perhaps not looked forward to with enormous enthusiasm by all participants of the weekend, who the previous day will have run a normal Hash in the afternoon, and then engaged in prodigious alcoholic feats in the evening! Nonetheless, without Mr H, there would be nothing to grumble about!

    Brian Burgess arranged for the Salt Barge pub to accommodate the Hash to celebrate Tony's achievement, with grub being served after an allegedly short trail. The last time I was at the Salt Barge, Brian and Tony together with Peter Rose managed to lay a trail of such quality, it won the inaugural 'Hash of the Year' prize without any serious competition. This latest trail will not win the 2005 prize. It was well organised, no one got lost, the weather was clement, and with the exception of a short paddle close to Pickmere lake, there was no serious mud plugging. 40 brave souls completed the trail including the canines, and virtually everybody trundled into the pub for 'afters'.

    The On Sec was going to present Clive with a glass to commemorate his 100th run, completed a few weeks ago. She did this before all the food had reached the waiting multitude, as Clive need to get away early. In attempting to immediately follow her efforts, and present Tony with a posh glass and certificate to celebrate his achievement, I found the landlady drowned me out. Her very young waitresses were having the inevitable problem of matching meals to mouths.

    On these occasions, there are often problems with Hashers forgetting what they ordered in the car park an hour or so earlier, coupled with the pub often actually cooking different number of meals to those ordered. The landlady was assisting her waitresses, by holding a plate of unclaimed leek and bacon pie, whilst loudly trying to read out the list of who said they would have what, so she could find the right home for poor pie.The result was chaos.

    It took a good 10 minutes for everyone to be satisfied, so a second attempt to present Tony with his goodies had to be mounted 20 minutes later, when Hash stomachs were suitably replete. The trouble being more beer consumption equals more barracking. To complete the evening, our Portuguese expats had returned, and Pam produced a substantial chocolate cake as a further present for Tony. He was delighted, as apparently he is an unreformed chocoholic.

    He was slightly disappointed, when he discovered that he was expected to share his bounty with the rest of us! Nevertheless, he was able to triumphantly take home a substantial chocolate chunk at the end of the evening. You know, chocolate and beer aren't the most natural of food companions!
    Anyway, congratulations to Tony, and I hope he continues to run for ever.

    15-03-2005 Ship

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-03-16 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The winners of last year's most memorable hash award, Colin and Peter, got together again to surprise us with their route.
    We went tonight from the Ship at Styal, just opposite the Styal Mill and Country Park.

    The weather had been slightly unkind on Monday but Tuesday had remained overcast but not too wet. The temperature was up at about 10 degrees out of the wind so the first really mild night of the year.The pack were immediately thrown by the declaration from the hares 'Markers are on the Left!'. This meant we would have to run backwards so the checks came up correctly.

    We were off down the road and soon were trecking down a footpath by the side of a football pitch and over the railway lines. This was followed by a narrow muddy path alongside a steep drop. This involved moving not-quickly. We opened out into a broader field and found our way to a stile and across.. Tragedy no marker. A little down to the right we came across another stile going back into the field which was 3 way.Was this the way?
    It turned out that this was the stile we should have left the field by, so off we went up another muddy narrow path this time bordered by a streamWe continued in this vein circumnavigating runway 2 before disappearing into some wooded land in which the pack became split in several directions with much up and down of steps until we re-appeared close to the back of the pub

    The beer was suitably inexpensive so the kitty performed admirably. On-on till next time...

    And also...

  • Report by :- David L on 2005-03-16 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    A missive from Uncle Albert Guys..I'm sorry you'll just have to try harder - your Hash last night just wasn't Memorable enough for me. It was just like a normal Hash - well marshalled, moving along nicely through nice territory and finishing at a good pub with sensible prices.

    It was more muddy than would have been ideal - but I can't get excited enough to go into print about that.I didn't see much tissue except the huge bows that Colin pointed out to me - I think that was a set up. However, I'm afraid that you've let me down .......... and you've lost your grip on the Memorable Hash cup.
    You may still have a chance to rescue the situation - put your names down for another setting.Best regards Victor

    08-03-2005 Whipping Stocks

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-03-09 13:00:02
  • Detail :-

    Paul was involved as hare for the second week in a row.. This time will full responsibility.
    The trail was from the Whipping Stocks at Over Peover, a popular pub due
    1. to the quality of the beer and
    2. the price of said beer which makes the kitty last much longer.

    However - back to the trail. The night was calm and overcast and there were a goodly few hashers out. The trail went out towards the Dog but then took a turn offroad. Where it lingered for a short while. Although this was reasonably familiar territory for some of the hashers Paul set with sufficient guile for the trail to stay mostly unbroken. There were one or two bits where speed picked up , but this was soon sorted and they who were first became last.
    It was not particularly cold or muddy night so the shoes had one of their rare dry outings. The run in missed one or two checks but the beer was more than welcome. The announcement in the pub that it was a 50th (Nicky) a 100th (Clive) and a birthday (Jean) led to an unseemly outburst of singing before we got back to the beer.

    01-03-2005 Stag's Head

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-03-02 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    The Stag Inn, Warford
    A somewhat reduced pack set off from the Stag into the cold night air on a Stephenson Special, with assistance from Paul Jackson.

    I am sure that numbers turning out were probably limited more by the meteorological conditions rather than the thought that the trail might comprise of 3 checks followed by a five mile run in, but we shall never know for sure.
    The trail began well with a loop almost back to the pub and then a long field section moving inexorably towards Alderley. The fields were a little damp, but most people were dry-ish prior to the arrival of the water feature thoughtfully inserted into the route. There was no avoiding the small lake that had formed in one of the fields so the rest of the run was undertaken with the benefit of wet trainers and, given the temperature, frozen laces.

    Temperatures continued to drop as the run progressed, but by and large, the pack kept moving, returning to the main Chelford - Alderley road before returning via a long loop (which threw a number of less committed or navigationally challenged hashers who either ran in by the direct road route or a shorter loop) to the pub.
    The discounted rate on beer was much appreciated as was the trail layers improved checks to miles ratio, estimated at 3.5. (That's checks per mile rather than miles per check). Thanks to Rob and Paul.

    22-02-2005

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-02-24 01:00:00
  • Detail :-

    The two Davids set their first trail of the year from the White Barn at Cuddington.
    David L repeatedly advised the hash of the roadworks and we duly made allowances for the lack of A49. However the County Council left the road open and there were few problems for the direct route.Talking of direct routes.. the hash was not obe of them. 37 checks were announced and off we went over and into the houses which ate up about 20 of them and only left 5.5 miles to go for the last 17.. The night was good, calm and moonlit with none of the snow which had dropped on Monday night being apparent. The ground even remained firm and the markers difficult to find.

    We scouted the byways and the edges of Delamere and as I appeared at the back and someone said 'long way or short way?' and as the short way had the pub visible I became a SCB and was mostly changed by the time the pack turned in.
    A good trail and my socks and feet remained dry for the first time in what seems like months.

    And also...

  • Report by :- David L on 2005-02-24 01:00:00
  • Detail :-

    David L was worried that I might not produce a report on his trail so he sent one in....

    The first Hash of 2005 set by The Two Davids was from The White Barn, Cuddington.
    Heavy snow falls and severe disruption had been experienced throughout the country during the day and the previous couple of days. The weather forecasters had suggested that we would have further snow during the evening. Throughout the day Cuddington had endured changing conditions - blizzard conditions and alternately bright sunshine. It seemed difficult to predict what would happen just prior to and during the Hash.

    Obviously if we had any significant snow - searching for white tissue in the hedgerows would be a pointless exercise, so a contingency plan was established to have a "live hare". The "live hare" would leave about 20 - 30 minutes before the Hash and leave PINK tissue enroute. It was decided that I would be the "live hare" and during the afternoon I bought some pink tissue and spent some time preparing the markers. I'm afraid we didn't check with the police to determine whether or not it is now OK for a pack of Hashers to hunt down a "live hare".

    However, although it was cold, the evening was clear and free of the white stuff - there was no need for the contingency plan.The announced closure of the A49 did not cause the threatened hold-ups and the participants mostly arrived before 19:45 so we were able start promptly on time. Of course, a number of those arriving complained about there not being any hold ups so they had arrived on time for a change.
    The hash was a healthy 10k on paper - slightly further along the ground - and 37 checks with quite a number of ups and downs (w hoever it was that said that Cheshire is a flat county is a fool !!). There was a mixture of terrain - it was mainly along lanes, footpaths and over fields. There wasn't a great deal of mud - it was too cold for that sort of thing.

    The run was largely in the countryside but we did pass through housing in Cuddington and Delamere Park. The markers were set quite a short distance from the check and quite a number of the Hashers didn't bother looking for the tissue until they had passed them. Therefore, it was necessary for the Hares to call a number of the On Ons to avoid hyperthermia setting in on the gathered pack.
    The Hash moved on quite quickly but we managed to keep everyone together without hardly having to resort to the built in shortcuts. The runners passed the walkers (who were travelling in the opposite direction) on Barrastitch Lane as we had predicted; but the walkers were further along the lane than anticipated and seemed to be steaming along. This was a signal to push the runners harder during the second half of the run.

    As the pack emerged onto the A49 within sight of the pub at 08:55 there was an initial sense of euphoria followed by a deep hatred of the hares as the way forward was quickly announced. On On was down the hill away from the pub to the yoghurt factory followed by yet another uphill section up Smithy Lane to Sandiway before the run in to The White Barn. I'm sorry to have to reveal that a small number of wimps decided to call it a day when they reached the A49 but I'm not going to name names - they know who they are !!

    At the pub it was announced that Heather had completed her 800th run - a great achievement. It wasn't announced that Ray Humphries had completed his 350th, Richard Goulding his 250th and Jean Milton her 50th ..... Unfortunately, Ancient Wood was suffering the early stages of a rare form of memory loss .... nevertheless, well done to all of them.
    Best regards Victor

    15-02-2005

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-02-17 01:00:00
  • Detail :-

    Tonight was from the Bears Paw at Warmingham, just to the wouth west of Middlewich and there had been a slight crisis on the travel front.
    Demon.. where I currently have the hash pages loaded had the first problems for ages and the run list was not available until about 5 o'clock.However there were 28 runners and walkers out on a clear calm night.. one of whom was .. shock horror ..Lynn as a co hare. It was dark and in the countryside!

    The trail went very smoothly with some slightly squishy fields at the start and then a number of good roads and footpaths. The trail moved well and was mostly found by the pack until about 3 checks from home when we went int a field which rapidly covered the tops of our running socks.Unfortunately there were no clear puddles in the rest of the trail so the run in was v squelchy and it was a struggle to find the laces.

    A fine trail none-the-less and a slight downer when we found that on the following week the excellent beer will be £1.00 per pint..

    08-02-2005

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-02-10 01:00:00
  • Detail :-

    On the edge of Wilmslow we met at the Rifleman arms.
    A biggish 40's pub which had been left marooned by a wartime decision to build a new road that did not pass its door.

    The hares tonight were our on-on sec Heather ably assisted by Nick.The route out was via several of the many urban footpaths which go through Wilmslow but soon we ended up in a field with sufficient mud to please Martin.. Unfortunately he was not there!! Tough- Martin.

    At about this time Nick started flapping.. No problem emotionally but the sole had come adrift on his trusty trainers. Time for a visit to Running Bear methinks.
    We re-entered the outskirts of Wilmslow from the direction of the Cheshire Smokehouse, shut unfortunately and wandered off along more paths until we reached the pond on the moss. A circumnavigation and out at the roundabout for a brisk on-in

    After I stuck my head round the door to announce our return we were happy to walk into the pub to see the bar set up with a large row of full pints!!The evening was enlightend by the Cake prepared by Pam for the multi-birthday that was Dave A, Heather, Karen and John M. It was in the form of a busty nurse with cherries in appropriate places and with candles on the cherries.
    Dave operated with surgical precision to divide the cake among the many

    01-02-2005

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-02-03 01:00:00
  • Detail :-

    This probably classes as a memorable Hack run.. We stayed dry of foot for the trail!!

    Mr Hack set tonight from the Drum and Monkey. This had been adjusted from the Spinner and Bergamot the week previous but some still turned up at the other pub.Fortunately only a third of a mile separates the two and we went out past it so no problems there.

    Our GM had been appointed the tail end gunner by the chief hare and we went off into what seemed a bit chilly but soon turned out to be excellent conditions. The combination of Martin, who's trails require a bit of thought to work through , and Allan made sure that we all came home sound.We then had to cope with a landlord who seemed reluctant to have 26 thirsty bods and bodesses consuming his ale, tasty though it was.
    It may be that he had the Man U / Arsenal match in one end of the pub and the Liverpool one at the other.Still...good trail and back-up

    25-01-2005 Coach & Horses

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-01-26 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Bridget set from a new pub for us, the Coach and Horses at Timbersbrook, near the Cloud at Bosley.
    The parking was a little tight to start with but the 29 hashers and walkers managed to get themselves together for the start of.As is most likely in that part of the world, the out route from the first check took us up.The second and third also did the same. but this was followed soon by a down.

    After this we went up again.The ground underfoot was pretty good and we turned off road again to take some steps .. upwards of course and then we reached the top of the Cloud. The view was good as the full moon was trying to make an appearance.This was just as well as we now made our way back down by a variation of the way up.

    To mark Burns night Bridget had organised a muster point where hot toddies were provided to the background of Highland small pipes music. Much appreciated.
    The run in then followed and back to the pub where the ale was excellent, though there appeared to be a bit of kitty trouble

    18-01-2005 Plough

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-01-19 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Kevan and Eleanor set from the Plough at Whitegates.
    A last minute decision the previous week as they had forgotten they were to be the hares. Following on from the theme of the previous two weeks it was more than a little damp underfoot. This was better than expected as I had gone to work in the morning with 1.5 inches of snow on the road and it had cleared but the trip to the hash was though sleet and slush.

    The usual hash rules applied and although there was a strong wind which required even Carthief to wear a raintop as wind proofing the air was mostly dry through the trail.. just a brief flurry three quarters round.
    Underfoot though it was wet wet wet Mud is all around. (sorry about that.

    The trail was good and the hash kept moving with the pack keeping busy finding the checks. If the weather had been better It would have been excellent like the beer.

    11-01-2005 Egerton Arms

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-01-12 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Dr Rob set this trail from the Egerton Arms in Chelford, with some back marking support from Paul J.

    After last week's trail it couldn't be wetter , and it wasn't. Whereas the surface last week was water coloured with mud tonight it was mud diluted with water. The trail took us out from the pub and then for a change :- off to the East.The evening stayed clear , the ground stayed firm but damp a feature that remained for most of the trail. Some fields were a bit liquid though. Much use was made of the Chelford Roundabout which we went through several times from various directions and then shot off in yet other directions.We eventually made it back to the pub which has apparently changed hands again.

    The beer was good though

    04-01-2005 Red Lion

  • Report by :- Max R on 2005-01-05 14:16:43
  • Detail :-

    The new year started with a typical Roger trail.. a long gap between front and back and progressed at a gallop. Bridget and Kathy ( who was back hare) arrived back at near 10 and required alcohol to restore themselves.Although it had rained during the day the evening was fine and clear. No chance of getting saturated..Eh Peter.

    Off we went from the Red Lion at Lower Withington, a hash location I recall as one where I returned late from the trail after getting dropped off the back and recovered by the expedient of knocking on a door and asking where the pub was... I had been going the wrong direction at the time having missed the markers.
    Tonights however started damp underfoot and gradually got wetter. After one stile I stepped forward and my leg disappeared in mud up to my knee . As we progresed I thought that it was all improving, especially as we turned up a house drive following the footpaths. Must be good I thought...

    We entered the trees past the greenhouses and past a little stream. Them my torch bulb failed. Then Peter R went knee deep in the wet path and I followed. A few yards later and Peter went thigh deep in stagnant water.I , unfortunately, followed as there was no alternative. After this things improved underfoot until we hit road and a run in to the pub.

    Feeling in my feet returned later.

    And also...

  • Report by :- David L on 2005-01-05 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    David Lever's report
    A normal Hash (if that isn't a contradiction) is 6 miles and 25 checks. However, a typical Roger Turner Hash is 8 miles and 6 checks and tonight Roger didn't disappoint us !!

    I had a terrible sense of foreboding as I realised who was the Hare. I asked 'How many checks are there, Roger?' and the answer was ' Enough' ... .. Yeh, right !!!However, for once, Roger had enlisted the help of a backmarker - Kathy Chadwick so that we could be confident that no one would be mislaid. At the start Kathy confirmed that there were plenty of checks and it wasn't too long ... . we are a gullible lot !!!

    Roger did admit that the Hash would be ' ... a little wet in places ... .' . What else could we expect after the recent rain; BUT nothing could have prepared us for the conditions that followed. Roger had selected the muddiest and wettest fields to run / stagger across. I'm afraid that we all look and feel quite ridiculous as we try hard to keep our footing and move forward across bogs and ploughed fields - Plenty of effort but little progress ... it is almost as pointless as running on the spot.
    Simon Wright slipped and took quite a tumble in front of me getting completely covered in mud and various other substances. Simon didn't appreciate that some people pay a fortune for this sort of treatment at a Health Farm. His dive certainly earned straight tens from the judges.Fortunately, I didn't laugh even when I realised he was OK, so that when a little later I performed a belly flop into another quagmire he seemed genuinely concerned ... .. at least for a couple of seconds !!

    The Hash became so strung out that even those few checks that were incorporated into the run were irrelevant to the main body of the runners. Allan Jones remarked that he had never run continuously for so long since he was at school. As I complained about the absence of checks, I was told that it was Roger's hash, what else did I expect. In the latter stages of the run, The Hash turned off a lane into a wooded area that turned out to be a cold, dark swamp.

    There was absolutely no respite as we waded at least knee deep in a cold dark liquid which had a unique fragrance that we would later share with the other Customers at The Red Lion, Lower Withington . From time to time we would plunge deeper into the swamp and at one point I was almost up to my waist.
    Poor John Moorhouse - it was reported that he was up to his neck in it !! I don't know exactly how far we waded through the swamp but it seemed to be about a couple of hundred yards of absolute purgatory - I thought I had unwittingly entered I'm a celebrity get me out of here. As we made our way through the swamp I expected Hashers to be attacked by a crocodile or even a hippo at any moment.

    Roger later claimed to have laid a couple of scaffolding planks to enable us to avoid getting wet in the swamp - who is he trying to kid !! ... ... . He really needed to sink scaffolding throughout the woods and lay a few hundred planks.
    As we emerged from the swamp our feet were wet and freezing cold - it felt as though we would lose a few toes as we trudged wearily back to the pub.Later, on examination of the map, it was discovered that if we had run on another 150 yards along the lane and then turned sharp left we could have avoided the swamp completely and finished up where we needed to be on the other side. When we confronted Roger with this information, he told us that he wanted us to use the footpath through the wood - footpath ... .. what footpath ?!!We arrived back at the pub at 21:15ish but we had to wait almost another 45 minutes before Kathy Chadwick (Assistant Hare) and Bridget Taylor returned - Bridget recording the latest ever finish time of 21:58.

    Unfortunately, they got lost despite Kathy having helped to set the trail and having a map.Thank you Roger for a truly memorable Hash. However, if it isn't too late for New Year's resolutions - howzabout MORE CHECKS. My middle son and his fiance had intended to join us on the Hash this week, but fortunately they had made other arrangements. If they had run with us they would have concluded that we are all completely insane and would never have hashed again.

    I have been assured by Rob Stephenson that next week will be more normal, so maybe they will join us.David Lever (AKA Victor Meldrew)

    And also...

  • Report by :- Allan J on 2005-01-05 13:00:01
  • Detail :-

    Allan's Version Red Lion - Lower Withington 04.01.05A New Year!

    You know how it is, we have new resolutions!! We think, 'I must get fitter/get rid of the excess Xmas pounds/get out more... .' (delete as appropriate). So 'on on' to the first Hash of 2005 , courtesy of Roger Turner, supported by Kathy Chadwick, from the Red Lion at Lower Withington.There was so much enthusiasm, that some ex Hashers (running incapacitated) appeared for a New Year constitutional. Peter Rose had even found someone new to walk.

    As we set off at 19.50ish the weather was cool, but clear dry and calm. By 21.20 - 21.58ish the temperature in the bar was hot, and no one was dry or calm! Our two sturdy trail layers had produced a monumental trial! Roger does have a reputation for his trials, and this one only added to it! No less than 40 humans and 28 paws left the pub. After a short stretch of tarmac, it was over the first of 73 stiles, and down into the mud. I got the first check wrong, which normally isn't of any great concern, but tonight it meant no rest for about 52 minutes! Being at the back as the pack struggled over the first stile in ones, meant the front was at the other end of Cheshire, by the time I over. So I couldn't get to the novelty that were checks, before some barn owl eyed Hasher was calling the 'on on'.So non-stop plodding was required for El Presidente. At one stage, as I sank knee deep into the muck, I remember screaming, 'I hate you Turner!' Now you know you are on an ageing Hash, when the runner next to you sympathetically queries as they are fishing blindly in the mud for their left shoe, 'What was that about your hiatus hernia?'

    Eventually, a rest stop appeared. However, this wasn't a check in the conventional sense. The pack had come together as they were faced with a flooded landscape straight out of the Hound of the Baskervilles. Gaunt and bare dead trees emerged from an inky black freezing watery morass that allegedly was where the trail went. Low flying branches meant not only were goggles recommended, but the far shoreline couldn't be seen.Admiral Burgess was apparently the first to plumb the depths.
    He's a big strong boy is Brian and after wading one gentle foot at a time though this hole filled pool, his stolid progress encouraged the junior ranks behind to tentatively follow our hero into the mire. It became immediately clear that the footing was of varying depths. Someone called to Peter Rose, 'Don't come right Peter, it's nearly up to my knees!' So, Peter dutifully waded left, and disappeared up to his... ... (well, I won't go there). Only afterwards, did Peter realise, that there was no way his potential benefactor could have known how deep left was, when he himself had gone right. Still being towards the rear, my calls of 'Wrong way, on back!' were met by strained grins from Hashers around me, who realised they would be next for the swamp, while those at the front currently frantically protecting their assets, threatened physical violence should I survive the crossing.

    Eventually land was discovered. Conversation was surprisingly positive. I suppose unexpected survival does that for you. It also made the pack almost forget the tumbles individuals took, (Simon Wright, Mr Lever and me for 3), and electrocutions suffered, (Mr Horner - twice, and at least 2 canines). Beware low flying electric fences. Finally, a half remembered strange hard flat surface appeared beneath our frozen squelchy feet - it was a road!

    So 'On on' back to the pub, or at least for most of the Hash.After half an hour in the bar, a ragged cheer broke out. Kathy in full running gear had arrived. Apparently, our reserve navigator had suffered some directional confusion. Inevitably, her late arrival was recorded in ' the book'. Much discussion ensued about whether this was a record for late arrivals, when Bridget was spotted heading for the ladies to change. She definitely now holds the late arrival record which I suspect she doesn't want - but as Roger is due to lay another trial fairly soon, she has hope!

    And now, if you can all stand it, we come to 'The Tale of Two Planks'.
    Earlier in this missive, we had our military hero sallying forth across the flooded wastes, thus encouraging an extremely unenthusiastic pack to follow. Now it seems from detailed conversations in the pub, that Admiral Burgess launched his amphibious assault about 20 yards to the left of where Roger had planned for us all to go. Our intrepid trial layer had decided that he WAS going to use this rarely (if ever) used footpath, but when he saw its condition, his hard heart softened, and he had a wonderful idea for easing the pack's progress. He drove back to Knutsford, and acquired 2 planks from a family member who is a decorator, and took them back to the swamp to lay them as bridges across the worst of the water. On getting his planks to the swamp, he found they were too short!So, it's back to Knutsford, to get 2 longer planks. These were fine, except that the family member had now spotted the missing equipment, and pointed out to Roger on his return, that they were his best indoor planks, and certainly not to be used for caressing the calloused feet of the Cheshire Hash!

    So Roger is offered 2 long outdoor planks, and yet again he hurtles back to the swamp to do another plank swop! I've lost track of how many individual car journeys this is, but finally, all is well, EXCEPT that the Hash never laid a Nike on the said planks. Oh, and Roger had to go back after the Hash, to recover the never used planks.If anyone had run this trail for the first time, we'd never have seen them again. You know it's going to be memorable, by the level of bitching, and this was a bitch!

    But yet it was a wonderful memorable evening that will keep the Hash in stories until Roger's next trial!

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